– We learned from past FTF events that sometimes our host isn’t gracious. They don’t include everyone. They only want revenge or think of themselves. So we think of the children. Not kids, because dontbringyourfnkids – I mean Gods children. Which is us, the rest of us, who don’t have matches. So we have one big match. In fact, it is annually the biggest match in all of the Hoodslam season.
The Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications goes like this: two unlucky souls walk to the ring. Every minute or two, another entrant comes to the ring. This goes on for like 30 people. A contestant is eliminated from the match when they are thrown over the ring ropes and both feet touch the floor. Last year, no fans died. Hopefully they remember to get the f out of the way this year too.
The winner is promised a shot at the Golden Gig at our next event. Literally anyone on the roster can be catapulted into an opportunity to fight for our most prestigious award. Those at the top of the mountain will be swiftly brushed aside, effectively boned. Ask not why the bone bones, the bone bones for thee.
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam