Shelly Martinez talks about her fantastic series of matches with Brittany Wonder on the PWTorch Livecast! (skip to 33 minutes) Be sure to see her next month at 80s for the Ladies!
Here is our complete uploading the epic brawl that was James C v. Drugz Bunny in a 1920s Prohibition Match for the right to use Here Comes the Hot Stepper by Ini Kamoze as entrance music from last years 80s for the Ladies event. 80s for the Ladies returns First Friday in November!
If you want to see more you can watch the whole show at SMARTMARKVIDEO.COM/HOODSLAM for $9.99!
November 7th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam
Did you know we had a secret show last week just for Fanclub members? If you love getting fucked at our monthly shows and can’t get enough wrestling action then you need to join the Hoodslam FTFanclub! This was just the latest event that we have for FTFanclub members where they can party with your favorite Hoodslam wrestlers.
FTFanclub members get their own ID card, cool new merch, access to an elite facebook group, and free admission to our infamous fanclub shows! Join the FTFanclub!
Hoodslam: FTF V – BROetic Justice. Friday, October 3. #FTFV #BROeticJustice
Your BROliness,
The penis of Hoodslam star and reality TV personality Broseph Joe Brody (AJ Kirsch) has been signed to a WWE Devolopmental contract this week. Stemming from it’s recent appearance on VH1’s “Dating Naked,” the Bro’s wiener is a hot commodity, having turned down offers from TNA, the New York Yankees and Nike to head to the Performance Center in Florida. Although known as a “stiff” worker in the Hoodslam ring, Broseph’s penis should fit well into the WWE landscape.
“We feel that Broseph’s penis will have a long standing future here in the WWE,” said Chief Operating Officer Triple H. “We figure it’ll factor in heavily on future seasons of Total Divas, and should anchor our upcoming relaunch of the Cruiserweight Division.”
Originally, Broseph’s balls were planned to be signed in a “package” deal, but were not offered contracts because they needed to bulk up. The stable of Broseph’s dick and balls may still make WWE TV, but instead of being paired with his balls, it is likely that the stable will instead include The Bella Twins.
“I’m really excited to be a part of the WWE.” said Broseph’s penis “Although I kind of wish WCW was still around, so I could be where the big boys play.”
Broseph’s penis will have to undergo a name change in accordance with WWE’s policies. His penis is expected to debut on NXT this November under the name “Terry Spunk.”
SHELLY MARTINEZ VS. BRITTANY WONDER
No cheesy pun in the header for this one, the name speaks for itself. On August 23rd in San Francisco, Brittany Wonder was able to defeat Shelly Martinez in a physical match that sprawled across the Z Space, leaving many a splat from a suplex on the concrete floor.
At the September 5th event back in Oakland, Shelly, who has Shelly Martinez’s Funpage, welcomed Brittany to the ring, and in the spirit of friendly competition, asked for a rematch. Again, they fought across another building, including battling upon the bar at the Oakland Metro Operahouse. Shelly won this time, although it was clearly with the help of unsportswomanlike conduct. (I’m told she spit period blood in her face, but only Jesus knows)
The rubber match has been booked, but Shelly Martinez requested a single caveat: that it be Falls Count Anywhere in the building. That means on the floor. On the bar. On the fans. In the bathroom. In the smoking section. On the hotdog truck. ANYWHERE you can get your opponents shoulders down for three seconds, it counts. So we’re turning the fucking lights on. RAVENS RULES!
– We learned from past FTF events that sometimes our host isn’t gracious. They don’t include everyone. They only want revenge or think of themselves. So we think of the children. Not kids, because dontbringyourfnkids – I mean Gods children. Which is us, the rest of us, who don’t have matches. So we have one big match. In fact, it is annually the biggest match in all of the Hoodslam season.
The Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications goes like this: two unlucky souls walk to the ring. Every minute or two, another entrant comes to the ring. This goes on for like 30 people. A contestant is eliminated from the match when they are thrown over the ring ropes and both feet touch the floor. Last year, no fans died. Hopefully they remember to get the f out of the way this year too.
The winner is promised a shot at the Golden Gig at our next event. Literally anyone on the roster can be catapulted into an opportunity to fight for our most prestigious award. Those at the top of the mountain will be swiftly brushed aside, effectively boned. Ask not why the bone bones, the bone bones for thee.
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam
Scorpion FTF VS Cereal Man
– The Best Athlete in the Bay is FONG, one half of the generally repugnant Team Game Over. The self proclaimed Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer (who moves like a dancer) has been boycotting Hoodslam since he revealed someone had stolen his Golden Fannypack – the item awarded to the Best Athlete in the Bay as representation of his physical acumen. Broseph Joe Brody, aware of his upcoming sovereignty, announced that whomever two could outlast all others in a gauntlet would fight for the prize at FTF V. Your winners are apparent, but what exactly is happening, and its legality under Hoodslam legislature, is unclear: will they fight each other to fight FONG? Will Broseph allow FONG to be in the match? If FONG continues his boycott, does that make the winner the defacto Best Athlete? I dunno, but I’d hate to be the guy responsible for that decision…
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam
HEY YO…its survey time! In an attempt to bring you the best content ever EVER, we’d like to know what yall want from YOUR Hoodslam youtube channel. Are you enjoying kaboom of the weeks? Want more highlight reels or full matches? Do you miss the old full course episodes or do you enjoy the more recent easier to digest snacks we’ve been throwing out? What more would you like to see?
Furthermore, we’d like to start doing something new: do you have any burning questions about the life of a female wrestler? Maybe about being a twin? Perhaps you want to know what a coked up rabbit man has for breakfast? If so, youre in luck! You’ll soon be granted an opportunity to anonymously submit questions for some poor Hoodslammer.
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