Category Archives: News

BROetic Justice October 3rd!

Fresh off a vaginal safari tour of VH1’s Dating Naked, Broseph Brody is planning on fucking the fans Oct. 3rd for his show- BROetic Justice! A few weeks ago, he won the Battle Royal for Supremacy and gets to run Hoodslam for the night high atop his throne on Mt Brolympus! So far Broseph has booked the following matches-

  • Shelly Martinez VS Brittany Wonder in a falls count anywhere match!

  • El Flaco Loco VS Doc Atrocity to determine the Mayor of Hoodslam!

Last weeks show was 3 hours long, so more matches to be announced. We’ve been fucking the fans for 5 years now, so be sure to show up at the Oakland Metro Oct. 3rd for Fuck the Fans V: BROetic Justice!

October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids

Still Your Golden Gig Champion!

Holy $#@!, is Juiced Lee the most dominant champion to ever step into a Hoodslam arena? He must be, because he just defended the his title again against fan favorite Pooh Jack last Friday to retain the Golden Gig Championship! Pooh Jack is one of hoodslam’s toughest competitors who brings every weapon he can fit into a trashcan- kendo sticks, crutches, and assorted computer parts to smash his opponents whenever he appears in the ring. But last Friday Pooh Jack fought on an even playing field and ended up with his head bashed into a trashcan while Juiced Lee stomped onto him from the top-rope!

While Juice Lee has been known to rip the internal organs out of his opponents, he has the honor of the Golden Gig championship to uphold; so he joined the fans in showing respect for Pooh Jacks’ effort. Pooh Jack is just the latest wrestler to fall before Juiced Lee’s martial prowess; Dark Sheik, Drugz Bunny and Bat Manuel have all felt his rage. How many bodies must fall before he wins the respect of the Hoodslam fans? Since he is a fighting champion he will probably return Oct. 3rd for BROetic Justice!

Hoodslam: FTF V – BROetic Justice

October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids

SHOW RESULTS – 9/5 Hoodslam in Oakland, Calif.: THE Brian Kendrick, Shelly Martinez part of this month's show

PWTorch Hoodslam Results
September 5, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid Attendance: 914

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Johnny Cockring. Hoodslam’s original ring announcer, Emilio “Ike” Burner returned. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch, VH1’s Dating Naked), El Flaco Loco, and Coach Joey Nuggs.

(1) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link with the Spanish Fly off the top rope.

(2) Battle Royal to set up a number one contender’s match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award: Cereal Man & Scorpion beat Manimal, Ken, P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), “The Russian Lover” Zangief, and “The Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz. Cereal Man and Scorpion will face each other at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” to determine the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award, currently held by F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer).

(3) Shelly Martinez beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder with a choking STO, which followed Shelly spitting period blood in Brittany’s face after the referee was inadvertently struck. As a result of the questionable tactics used by Shelly Martinez to gain the victory, “Broseph” Joe Brody announced their third and tie-breaking match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice.” Shelly accepted, on the condition that it will be a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. (United Sideshows and Atrocities) challenged “Broseph” Joe Brody to a match. He accepted, but before the match could begin, the former mayor of Hoodslam, El Flaco Loco, returned to Hoodslam and cleared the ring of Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. “Broseph” immediately made a match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” – Doc Atrocity vs. El Flacco Loco, the winner to receive the office of mayor of Hoodslam.

(4) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: Jonathan Butabi beat THE Brian Kendrick with the Roxbury Bottom. As a result, the finals of the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament, and the main event to come later that night, is “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra vs. Jonathan Butabi.

(5) Smoklahoma Iron Lung Challenge: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott & Scott Rick w/Coach Joey Nuggs and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) beat The WBs (Jesus “Chewie” Martinez & Benito Martinez) after hitting a Rizz Bomb on Benito.

(6) Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee beat Pooh Jack after a brainbuster on a pile of weapons to retain.

(7) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup exhibition six-man tag team match: Drugz Bunny & Virgil Flynn III & Anthony Butabi beat DARK Sheik & James C. & Ryu when Drugz Bunny hit a Cokeslam on Ryu. The competitors remained at ringside to witness the final match in the tournament.

(8) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Finals: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat Jonathan Butabi with an O’Conner Roll to win the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament trophy.

[ FYI: To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, click HERE. Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, October 3 for their biggest show of the fall, “BROetic Justice.” Hoodslam is a 21+ event. Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.

Vampire Shelly Martinez Returns for Hoodslam Oct 3

Last Friday at Fanarchy Rules, Vampire Shelly Martinez and Ultragirl Brittany Wonder battled for the second time ever in single competition. What started out as friendly competition between two of the best female wrestlers on the West Coast has turned into a dark rivalry. Shelly and Brittany’s hatred for one another was evident as their match would spill out of the ring and onto the Oakland Metro bar counter. Finally, Shelly could take no more of Brittany’s barroom brawling, and Shelly sprayed some questionable body fluids right into the eyes of Ultragirl and pinned her with a choking STO!

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Hoodslam commentator Broseph Brody was infuriated with Shelly- claiming she stole a win, and demanded she return next month to fight Brittany again. As the winner of last month’s Battle Royal for Supremacy, Broseph wins the right to rule next month’s Hoodslam- BROetic Justice! Now Shelly Martinez and Brittany Wonder must fight again Oct. 3rd in a tie breaking final match – Falls Count Anywhere!

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October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids

The Top of the Skydreamer Miracle eXstacy Cup has a new champion!

What the hell happened last night? It was complete Fanarchy, rioting and chaos. The Oakland Metro was a packed sweaty mess for the proving ground that is Hoodslam! We saw the return of announcer Ike Burner and wrestler BatManuel, and the satanic Courtney Crimson! We crowned a winner for the Skydreamer Miracle eXstacy Cup! We had an Iron Lung Match! We have even new contenders for the Best Athlete in the East Bay!

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The Skydreamer Miracle eXstacy Cup has a new champion! El Chupacabra will be tripping balls for months with the amount of eXstacy that he won in several hard fought battles. First he defeated the hero of Highrule, Link in a match that utilized the Highlander sword and a treasure chest full of bombs. But nothing short of the supernatural could stop El Chupacabra from throwing Link off the top rope to advance in the tournament.

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Johnathon Butabi was also out to show the world that sober living and DDP Yoga will help you party all night! Even though The Brian Kendrick was a psychotic crazy man and should probably be placed in Arkham Asylam after the assault on Butabi last night. Somehow, after every effort in a brutal match, Butabi was able to defeat The Brian Kendrick with a Roxbury Bomb into a pile of glitter!

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Butabi would go on to face El Chupacabra in the finals in a match that was treacherous, breathtaking and bloody! El Chupacabra had his new baby mama- Courtney Crimson escorting him to the ring. We leave our F’n kids at home for hoodslam, even if they are demonspawn terror babies! Neither a broken nose or the Butabi brothers devious tactics would stop the “Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra from his goal of staying high on eXstacy as he crushed Butabi into the mat with an Adios front flip piledriver; and won the respect of everyone in the Oakland Metro!

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GOLDEN GIG GLORY GOES GRANDLY GIGGITY

Juiced Lee, the only man to hold the Golden Gig solo since 2012. The man who was able to singlify (new word, i dont care) what was once a team championship has defended against all comers since winning the main event of Entertania in April. Three way dances, Fatal Four Ways, 2 on 1 clone wars…nothing has stopped the volcanic rise of Juice Lee.

Fate has shined upon our martial arts wielding fatality inducing back the fuck flipping paragon of mountain topness, he too is subject to the fans will! Who shall they choose to challenge the man without relent? Pooh Jack? Sugar Dunkington? El Sparko? Go over to our events page and vote for the opponent that will get a chance at the richest prize in sports entertainment- The Golden Gig!

FTF

September 5th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam

BEST ATHLETE IN THE BAY AWARD

Where art thou fanny pack?


It hasn’t been all picnics and happy meals for F.O.N.G. (Fat Obese Nerdy Gamer) since winning the Best Athlete in the Bay Award from Virgil Flynn III last June. He’s found himself attacked from all directions, defending against many comers. Yet the fans have still not rallied behind Team Game Over (FONG and P.issed O.ff N.erdy G.amer PONG). Furthermore, FONG announced at the last Hoodslam that his Golden Fannypack, the symbol of tribute given to those that carry the mantel of Best Athlete, had been stolen. The toll has weighed heavy on the soul of this fucking nerdy gamer.

Who will F.O.N.G. face at Fanarchy Rules this Friday? Scorpion? Virgil Flynn III? Brock Lesnar? (Probably not) You decide by heading over to our event page and voting for this match and others at Fanarchy Rules!

September 5th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam

Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup Semifinals

Semifinals for the “Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup” Block A takes place this Friday at the Oakland Metro Operahouse between…..

Jonathon Butabi and THE Brian Kendrick

El Chupacabra and “Hero of Highrule” Link

Who will advance to the finals and try to become the first Hoodslammer to win this cup?!?!? Better be there Sept 5th to find out!

Hoodslam Kaboom!

It’s Monday! Whats that mean?! Well for one whole week its meant HOODSLAM KABOOM OF THE WEEK DAY! This time featuring Funnybone hitting a wicked double stomp onto a crowd surfing Russian Lover Zangev. Share it around the world! NOW! Seriously, show us comments from outside of CA or we’ll go all Hulk on downtown.

Be sure to check out Fanarchy Rules this Friday at the Oakland Metro.

September 5th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids

Dating Naked with Broseph on VH1

Did you see our very own hoodslam announcer Broseph Joe Brody swing his twig & berries around on VH1’s Dating Naked last night? The smooth master of seduction let it all hang out while trying to choose the right lucky lady to have his brobies. These traumatized women spent the whole time on an island fending off his advances, but they could not contain themselves and finally felt the attraction of the voice of hoodslam! You can watch the episode now on VH1!

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Broseph shows off the goods- Hoodslam style!

 

Broseph introduces himself.

 

It must have worked.

 

Don’t worry if you missed out on a buff, bare Broseph- you can see him again in various states of nudity at the next Hoodslam on Sept 5!

September 5th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
birdswillfall.com – social media, we’re @Hoodslam