Category Archives: 2014Results

Results from 2014 shows

Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans V – BROetic Justice (Oct. 3rd) Results

Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans V – BROetic Justice

Friday, October 3, 2014

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Paid attendance: 1,026

 

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Nickelback. Upon learning their name for the evening, the Hoodslam Band immediately threatened to walk out on the show. The Hoodslam Band and “Broseph” Joe Brody eventually compromised on “Ticklesack.”

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), El Flaco Loco, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) and Coach Joey Nuggs.

 

  1. Cereal Man def. Scorpion with the Cereal Buster to become the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award after FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer) detained Scorpion’s spear.

 

  1. Lights-On, Falls-Count-Anywhere Raven’s Rules match: Shelly Martinez def. “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder after “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz hit Brittany Wonder with the No Mames on a pile of gummy bears.

 

  1. Booze vs. Blunts Tag Team Grudge Match: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott and Scott Rick, representing Stoner U, with “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. The Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony Butabi and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi) with the Dab Day Afternoon.

 

  1. Prince of Darkness match that became a Russian Chain match that became a Lumberjack match that became a Coalminer’s Glove match to determine the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam: El Flacco Loco def. Doc Atrocity (with United Sideshows and Atrocities) by using the coalminer’s glove to become the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam. He then relinquished the office to the new mayor of Hoodslam – the fans.

 

  1. Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee def. “The Mexican Warewolf” El Chupacabra (with Courtney Crimson), Virgil Flynn III and Drugz Bunny with a top-rope moonsault on Drugz Bunny to retain the Golden Gig. Following the match, the James Gang (James C. and Stony Montana) arrived. Stony put the boots to Drugz. James was about to cash in his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy, but Drugz got the upper hand on Stony. Since the bell never rang, James retains his right to challenge anyone, at anytime, in any kind of match.

 

  1. 21-and-over (the top rope) battle royal to be the number one contender to the Golden Gig: Johnny “Drinko” Butabi def. Macho Taco, the PB&J Banana, Frank Meyer, Cereal Man, “The Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands, Stony Montana, Coach Joey Nuggs, Rick-Scott Stoner, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), Ken, FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer), Charlie Chaplain, Ryu, “Broseph” Joe Brody, Butternuts, “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz, “The Russian Lover” Zangief, Bat Manuel, “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link, James C., and Anthony Butabi to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig.

 

To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, November 7 for 80s for the Ladies III.

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS!

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.

HoodSlam Francisco: Bright Lights, Gig City (Aug 23) Results

HoodSlam Francisco: Bright Lights, Gig City

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Z Space

San Francisco, CA

Paid attendance: 290

 

On this night, the Hoodslam Band, from the corner of Taint and Ass-bury, was known as Rice-a-Blow Me: The San Francisco Skeet.

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and one-half of “The Knights of the Roxbury” Jonathan Butabi.

 

  1. The team of DARK Sheik and “The Russian Lover” Zangief def. the team of Scorpion and the PB&J Banana when Zangief hit a spinning piledriver on the PB&J Banana.

 

  1. Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup Round-Robin Tournament Thizz or Die Dance of Destiny Block Party Gauntlet match: El Chupacabra and “The Hero of Time” Link advanced to the semi-finals. I don’t really know how it worked. The winners got points. Math n’ stuff. Basically, it’s Starrcade ’89. Kinda. Whatever. F*ck the fans.

 

  1. Super Mutant Rockin’ Red Rhino 2099 challenge: Super Mutant Rockin’ Red Rhino 2099 def. Cereal Man with the Rhino Punch.

 

  1. “Broseph” Joe Brody def. Doc Atrocity via disqualification when Giggles the Clown interfered on Doc’s behalf. The two then assaulted Brody until Pooh Jack arrived and f*cked everyone up.

 

  1. Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee (champion) def. Ken (with Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) with a top-rope moonsault.

 

  1. Double X Chromosome Challenge: “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder def. “Wonder Woman” Shelly Martinez with the Butt of Doom in the very first woman-vs-woman match in Hoodslam history.

 

  1. Main Event: Battle of the Bay II – A best-of-seven World Series tag team match: The Knights of the Roxbury (Jonathan Butabi and Anthony Butabi) def. The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with Coach Joey Nuggs and “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands) with a home run that sent Scott-Rick out of the park while Jonathan Butabi was called “safe” as he slid into home (“home” meaning Rick-Scott’s face). The ramifications of the Battle of the Bay II were felt throughout northern California when history was compelled to repeat itself, as a 6.1 earthquake rocked the San Francisco Bay Area at 3:20amPST.

 

To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, September 5 for “Fanarchy Rulz.”

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS!

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.

 

www.BirdsWillFall.com

SHOW RESULTS – 9/5 Hoodslam in Oakland, Calif.: THE Brian Kendrick, Shelly Martinez part of this month's show

PWTorch Hoodslam Results
September 5, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid Attendance: 914

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Johnny Cockring. Hoodslam’s original ring announcer, Emilio “Ike” Burner returned. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch, VH1’s Dating Naked), El Flaco Loco, and Coach Joey Nuggs.

(1) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link with the Spanish Fly off the top rope.

(2) Battle Royal to set up a number one contender’s match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award: Cereal Man & Scorpion beat Manimal, Ken, P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), “The Russian Lover” Zangief, and “The Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz. Cereal Man and Scorpion will face each other at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” to determine the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award, currently held by F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer).

(3) Shelly Martinez beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder with a choking STO, which followed Shelly spitting period blood in Brittany’s face after the referee was inadvertently struck. As a result of the questionable tactics used by Shelly Martinez to gain the victory, “Broseph” Joe Brody announced their third and tie-breaking match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice.” Shelly accepted, on the condition that it will be a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. (United Sideshows and Atrocities) challenged “Broseph” Joe Brody to a match. He accepted, but before the match could begin, the former mayor of Hoodslam, El Flaco Loco, returned to Hoodslam and cleared the ring of Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. “Broseph” immediately made a match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” – Doc Atrocity vs. El Flacco Loco, the winner to receive the office of mayor of Hoodslam.

(4) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: Jonathan Butabi beat THE Brian Kendrick with the Roxbury Bottom. As a result, the finals of the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament, and the main event to come later that night, is “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra vs. Jonathan Butabi.

(5) Smoklahoma Iron Lung Challenge: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott & Scott Rick w/Coach Joey Nuggs and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) beat The WBs (Jesus “Chewie” Martinez & Benito Martinez) after hitting a Rizz Bomb on Benito.

(6) Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee beat Pooh Jack after a brainbuster on a pile of weapons to retain.

(7) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup exhibition six-man tag team match: Drugz Bunny & Virgil Flynn III & Anthony Butabi beat DARK Sheik & James C. & Ryu when Drugz Bunny hit a Cokeslam on Ryu. The competitors remained at ringside to witness the final match in the tournament.

(8) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Finals: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat Jonathan Butabi with an O’Conner Roll to win the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament trophy.

[ FYI: To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, click HERE. Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, October 3 for their biggest show of the fall, “BROetic Justice.” Hoodslam is a 21+ event. Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.

Hoodslam: Battle Royal of Supremacy (August 1, 2014) Results

Hoodslam: Battle Royal of Supremacy Friday, August 1, 2014 Oakland Metro Opera House Oakland, CA Paid attendance: 870

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Semen and Buttfunkle. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and “The Knight of the Roxbury” Jonathan Butabi.

1. A same-sex marriage presided over by Funnybone was interrupted by Zangief. Soon after, Doc Atrocity made the following ten-person tag team match: the team of Funnybone, Drugz Bunny, “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder, and the Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with Coach Joey Nuggs and “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands) def. “The Russian Lover” Zangief, “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz, the Best Athlete in the East Bay F.O.N.G. (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer), P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) and Player 2 P.O.N.G. when Funnybone hit a double-stomp off the top rope onto a crowd-surfing Zangief. Funnybone, who is really an ordained minister, completed the ceremony, and the two were legally married.

2. Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstasy Cup round-robin tournament match: Virgil Flynn III def. El Chupacabra with a pair of 450 splashes.

3. Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstasy Cup round-robin tournament match: Link def. “The Knight of the Roxbury” Anthony Butabi with the Rupee Cutter.

4. Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee (champion) def. Ken, Cereal Man, and “Laser Focused” Famous B when Lee hit a top-rope moonsault on Ken to retain the Golden Gig.

5. Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstasy Cup round-robin tournament match: James C. (with Stony Montana) def. DARK Sheik with the Gang Bang Piledriver.

6. Interspecies Wrestling King of Crazy Championship match: “Dirty Daddy” Chris Dickinson (champion) def. “The Patron Saint of Filth” Christina von Eerie with a standing splash mountain bomb to retain the Interspecies Wrestling King of Crazy Championship.

7. THE Brian Kendrick def. Ryu with an inside cradle on Ryu and Butternuts.

8. MAIN EVENT – Battle Royal of Supremacy (over-the-top-rope battle royal – the winner controls everything about Hoodslam’s biggest show of the fall, “F*ck the Fans V” on Friday, October 3 at the Oakland Metro Opera House): “Broseph” Joe Brody def. Doc Atrocity, Referee Guido, Botchy the Clown, Rick-Scott Stoner, Scott-Rick Stoner, Prince Ali Hussein, Funnybone, Drugz Bunny, “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder, Link, and “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands and Cereal Man.

To see this and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, September 5 for “Fanarchy Rulz.” Hoodslam will debut in San Francisco on Saturday, August 23 at Z-Space.

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS! Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam. www.BirdsWillFall.com

Hoodslam "Dual Intentions" (June 6, 2014) Results

Hoodslam “Dual Intentions” results
Friday, June 6, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 923


On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Barenaked Labias.

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), Butternuts, and guest commentary from “The Metal Head Maniac” Sledge.

(1) Ken (w/Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) beat Ryu (also with Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) with the “Shoryuken” Dragon Punch.

(2) “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz & “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra (w/a very pregnant Courtney Crimson) beat “The Russian Lover” Zangief & Doc Atrocity (w/Botchy the Clown) & Lucha Magnifico in a six-entity tag team match when El Chupacabra hit the Adios powerbomb on Lucha Magnifico.

(3) The James Gang (James C. & Stony Montana) beat The Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony Butabi & Johnathan Butabi) when James C. hit the Gang Bang on Anthony Butabi.

(4) F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer w/P.O.N.G.) beat Drugz Bunny and Virgil Flynn III in a three-way match to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay. Virgil hit the 450 splash on Drugz Bunny and made the cover. With señor official, El Sparko’s vision impaired due to a cocaine malfunction, when F.O.N.G. laid on top of Virgil, who was covering Drugz Bunny, El Sparko did not see Virgil underneath F.O.N.G. and counted the pinfall, awarding the match to F.O.N.G., ending Virgil Flynn III’s year-plus reign as Best Athlete in the East Bay. 

(5) Scorpion beat “The Metal Head Maniac” Sledge with the spear-uppercut combo, followed by the Curb Stomp. Fatality.

(6) Stoner U. (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick w/Cheerleader Missy Highasfuck, Coach Joey Nuggs, and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) beat The Ballard Brothers (Shane Ballard & Shannon Ballard) with the Rizz Bomb.

(7) Juiced Lee beat P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer w/F.O.N.G.) and Bat Manuel in a three-way match in a three-way match for the Golden Gig when Juiced Lee hit a top-rope moonsault with a Mario Kart spiked turtle shell strapped to his chest.

To see this and previous shows in their entirety, CLICK HERE.

Hoodslam “Love the Game II: Smokarina of Time” (June 20, 2014) Results

Hoodslam “Love the Game II: Smokarina of Time”
Friday, June 20, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid Attendance: 320

This was a special Friday show, as Hoodslam usually runs the first Friday of the month.

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Face Invaders. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch).

(1) “The God of War” Kratos beat James C. with the Wrath of Kratos (sit-out powerbomb chokeslam).

(2) The Super Stoner Bros. (Super Stoner Mario & Super Stoner Luigi) & Toad (w/Princess Peach-kush and Bobby Burgerblock) beat Smackdown (Here Comes the Pain’s create-a-wrestler Virgil Flynn IV & Assassin’s Creed’s Altair & WARIO) when the Super Stoner Bros. hit the Rizz Bomb on Altair.

(3) The Legend of Zelda’s Link beat Castlevania’s Simon Belmont with the Rupee Cutter.

(4) Ryu beat Ken and Akuma when Akuma used the Dark Hadou to force Ryu to hit Ken with a Shinku Hadoken in a Street Fighter II triple threat match. Following the match, Akuma told Ryu “You owe me.”

(5) Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Arcade Challenge: Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 (w/Doc Atrocity) beat Bat Mantual with a seated super punch.

(6) Video game gauntlet match (pinfall or submission): P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) beat Darkstalker’s Anakaris, Mortal Kombat’s Jax, Paperboy’s paperboy, Mortal Kombat’s Jax, Carl “C.J.” “Johnson from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” (ECW original Mustafa), and Altered Beast’s Cheetah Man when P.O.N.G. hit the buzzsaw kick through the Mario Kart spiked turtle shell on Cheetah Man.

(7) Best Athlete in the East Bay Award: F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer w/P.O.N.G.) beat Mega Man with the fat splash on top of the Mario Kart spiked turtle shell to retain.

(8) Mortal Kombat main event: Scorpion (w/Princess Kitana) beat Sub-Zero (w/Queen Sindel) with the Burning Driver, even after suffering from a Friendship, Babality, and a heart-wrench fatality.

Drinko de Mayo – Backlash (May 2, 2014) Results

“Drinko de Mayo – Backlash”
Friday, May 2, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 931

Special opening performance from the Beach Bum Alcoholics.

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Penis Fly Trap.

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and Butternuts.

(1) “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra (w/five months-pregnant Courtney Crimson) beat “The Hebrew Hammer” Joseph Schwartz with the “Adios Motherf—–” powerbomb, then crowd-surfed to the bar to celebrate his birthday with the fans.

(2) Bat Manuel & Lucha Magnifico beat Stoner U (The Stoner Brothers – Rick Scott Stoner & Scott Rick Stoner – w/Coach Joey Nuggs and Missy Hyas-sh–) when Bat Manuel hit a top-rope senton on Scott Rick Stoner.

(3) “The Russian Lover” Zangief beat Ken (w/Cammy featuring Cammy’s Ass) with a spinning piledriver.

(4) James C. beat “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz with a superkick to Cruz’s head as Cruz was on his knees.

Special performance from Nephilim, who will be performing at the birthplace of Hoodslam, the Victory Warehouse (2400 San Pablo in Oakland, Calif.) on Saturday, May 17. $5 cover.

(5) GAME OVER (P.O.N.G. [Pissed-Off Nerdy Gamer] & F.O.N.G. [F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer]) beat the Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny “Drinko” Butabi & Anthony Butabi) in a Japanese International Console-Wars Deathmatch of Doom when F.O.N.G. hit a big splash on Anthony Butabi with Butabi underneath a Nintendo Entertainment System, Xbox, a Sega Saturn, a Hylian shield, and a Nintendo Power Pad.

Following the match, Johnny “Drinko” Butabi announced that he was going sober and gluten free, and insisted on being referred to as “Johnathan Butabi.”

(6) Juiced Lee beat Sub-Zero (w/Princess Kitana and Queen Sindel) with a top-rope moonsault to retain the Golden Gig Championship. Prior to the conclusion of the match, Scorpion returned and distracted Sub-Zero. Princess Kitana hit a low blow on Sub-Zero, aligning herself with Scorpion.

(7) Doc Atrocity & Giggles the Clown beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & Drugz Bunny when James C., who joined “Broseph” Joe Brody on commentary during the match, hit the Drive-By Driver on Drugz Bunny behind the referee’s back.

(8) Virgil Flynn III beat Ryu with a 450-splash, immediately followed by the Cannonball senton, to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award.

To see this and previous shows in their entirety, click HERE.

4/20 – In Our House: Beware of Dog 3 (April 20, 2014) Results

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody

1. Coach Joey Nuggs w/Missy Hyasshit b. Bobby Burgerhands

2. Charlie Chaplin b. Anthony Butabi

3. The Stoner Brothers (Scott Rick and Rick Scott) & Trent Hemridge (w/ Coach Nuggs and Missy Hyasshit) went to a draw against The Commandos (D-Unit and T-Rent) & DeDe Badapple

4. Broseph Joe Brody lost the Easter Egg Hunt

5. Ultra-Toad Toady Toadstofferson d. Prawn Cena after a run in from Mr. Sandman

6. Lucha Magnifico & Jesus Kruz & Trent Butabi & Ultragirl Brittany Wonder went to a draw with Scott Rick & Rick Scott & Joey Nuggs & Missy Hyasshit & Pudoo the Cow after Pooh Jack attacked all participants, incuding Referee Rubang