There was more to it, but thats the jizzt. You can read for yourself by clicking here! We’re not fighting to change the world. We just dont give a fuck. But know that you are welcome in our homes, unless youre like a white supremacist homophobe or part of daesh. Then you can save your $20 bucks, we dont want it.

One of the more twisted tales we’ve been told to tell, so goes the story of what may be the end of The CAUTION (CAUTION).

Ean Hancement, Anton Voorhees and DARK Sheik were 3/3rds of the most arm breaking group in Hoodslam history. Batmanuel, El Sparko, Juiced Lee, Charlie Chaplin: all had to take a broken wing and learn to fly again. Ean and Sheik held a firm grip on The Best Athlete in the Eastbay Golden Fannypacks. Anton had his sights on the Golden Gig.

But as swiftly as the tides rises, it breaks and pulls back; DARK Sheik was revealed to be a broken robot, built to resemble the original Sheik who’d been lost in the dimensional portal accidentally created by Doc Atrocity 4 years ago. Johnny Drinko and Anton Voorhees battled over the Gig so often, they both focused on each other and neither could dethrone the Champions, Drugz Bunny or subsequently PONG. The Best Athlete Award was lost, and the finish line to the Golden Gig rapidly diminished in the horizon…

Anton, coming to terms with his partners robotic shortcomings, agreed to a deal with Doc Atrocity: he would hand deliver the Best Athlete Fannypacks, and the Dr would fix the inoperative DARK Sheik to function once more. Anton would win the Fannypacks, but before they could be delivered, they were stolen by Johnny Drinko. With no physical title, Doc decreed the deal incomplete.

Im a fit of madness, Anton hurled himself through Doc Atrocity’s dimensional portal, in an insane attempt to find the original organic DARK Sheik that had been lost to the multiverse 4 years ago. Doc could retrieve him, he told Ean, but he still wants those Fannypacks.

Johnny Drinko delighted in the mental collapse of his enemy Anton. He relished in the breakdown of the robotic DARK Sheik. Without wrestling a match, he had won the silent war with The CAUTION. Except one last thread…or third.

Ean Hancement finds himself in a pickle; he must attain Fannypacks to either fix his robotic mentor or return his human friend- Doc Atrocity will only do one favor. But first he must get Drinko to return the Golden Fannypacks – technically still belonging to absent-from-this-dimension Anton Voorhees. Johnny Drinko made another deal: he’ll return the Fannypacks to Ean so he can make his choice IF Ean beats Drinko at Entertania VII.

But if Drinko wins, Ean must leave Hoodslam, and The CAUTION will be erased forever…gone with the tide.

Thats 15 total! The last 5 will be revealed live in the ring, when it happens!  Many familiar faces, a couple fresh one too! What a neat world we live in. But who will win the living embodiment of manifest destiny, the CM PUNK Memorial Trophy?

Did you miss the piece NatGeo ran about Kayfabe, directed by Barry Blaustein (“Beyond the Mat”), and featuring the accidental phenomenon, Hoodslam? EXPLORER season 10 episode 5, the last ten minutes? (The centerpiece on rhino horn black market trade was fascinating too!)

Fear not, we have the whole segment on our facebook page. Check it out here!

Also featuring Bubba Ray Dudley, Jim Cornette, Matt Striker, Tommy Dreamer, and hosted by Dan freakin’ Rather!

#Kayfabe #Hoodslam

Your main event at Hoodslam: EnterTania VII this Friday at the Oakland Metro Operahouse: Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.) defends the Golden Gig vs. Cereal Man in a Japanese Console-War Deathmatch!

After winning a tag match last month with the returning Bat Manuel, Cereal Man was awarded the honor of headlining Entertania VII against the Golden Gig Champion P.O.N.G.! P.O.N.G., who lost that match with his partner in Team GAME OVER Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer (F.O.N.G.), had one decree: that this match be a Japanese Console-War Deathmatch.

Cereal Man and PONG have a storied history, but never have the stakes been so high; The Golden Gig is the ULTIMATE prize in Hoodslam. Cereal Man has momentum on his side, but the Japanese Console-War Deathmatch is P.O.N.G.’S MATCH. No one is any better as using these instruments of entertainment as instruments of destruction than PONG. In a Japanese Console-War Deathmatch, PONG is at home.

Online presale tickets are sold out. Limited tickets will be available at the Oakland Metro door on a first come, first served basis.

#Hoodslam

The CM Punk Memorial Lethal Lottery Tag Team Tournament Battlebowl Championship takes place friday! Its an annual tradition we hold near and dear to our icey cold hearts! Every year a different person of significance is chosen to be memorialized, generally after a somewhat disasterous life decision (don’t worry, they always bounce back: Jeff Hardy, Brock Lesnar, Dixie Cart …errrr… not always).

These first 5 of 20 entrants have signed on for a devious affair; all 20 entrants will be drawn randomly and forced into make shift tag teams. The 10 who can forge a bond of victory with their surprise partner will move on to the Battlebowl Championship Over the Top Rope Battle Royal, where there ARE NO TEAMS. The sole survivor will win the CM Punk Memorial Trophy.

And, of course, the trophy can be cashed in at anytime, for any match, with any Hoodslammer. Nobody can resist the trophys allure …because of the implication. One could use it for revenge – (or pleasure, depending on perspective), or Championship glory. As in most life situations, its better to be caught with it than without it.

If you already do, youd know this match had been up for about a week! We sneaky like that.

After all the dudes wrestled in their skirts, wigs, glitter and lace,  we let the girls take it home in the main event of our 2nd night of Femmed Out. A female celebration could only end with an all gal finale!