Drinko de Mayo: Party Like a Chupacabra
Friday, May 3, 2013
Oakland, Calif. at Oakland Metro Opera House
Est. paid attendance: 670
On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as “José Queervo.” Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and your Juggalo homie, “KG” Kevin Gill. Referees were Guido, Sparky Ballard, and Official Senior Official El Sparko.
(1) Juiced Lee defeated Virgil Flynn III with a vaulting top-rope moonsault after attempted interference from DARK Sheik was enough to allow Juiced Lee to secure the victory, albeit reluctantly.
(2) Drugz Bunny defeated James C. (w/Stoney Montana) with a second-rope sunset flip. James then challenged Drugz Bunny to a 1920s street fight at next month’s Hoodslam. If James loses, he will relinquish control of the James Gang to Drugz Bunny. If Drugz Bunny loses, he falls back in line as James’s subordinate.
(3) The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny Drinko Butabi & Anthony Butabi) defeated United Sideshows & Atrocities (Doc Atrocity & “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra w/Courtney Crimson, Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099, and Killer Clowns from Outer Oakland) when the Butabi Brothers hit a double Roxbury Bottom on Doc Atrocity after interference from Street Fighters Ken, Ryu, Cammy, and Cammy’s ass (which you can “like” on Facebook).
(4) Ken (representing Shotokan Dojo) defeated Johnny Cage (representing Earth Realm) with a hurricane kick off the top rope. Ken won the right to compete in Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge later in the evening.
At this time, the valet of DARK Sheik, D. FAUST, performed burlesque art performance dance theater magic.
(5) DARK Sheik (w/D. FAUST) & Otis the Gimp & “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder beat RYU & “Russian Lover” Zangiev & “Brazillian Beast” Blanka (w/Cammy) after Sub-Zero interfered and froze RYU solid, allowing DARK Sheik to score the pinfall. Fatality.
(6) Golden Gig Championship Identical Twin Tag Team Trial of Terror: Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) defeated the Ballard Brothers (Shane & Shannon) with the Rizz Bomb to retain the Golden Gig.
(7) Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge: E. Honda replaced Ken and became the first competitor to ever defeat Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 after interference on both sides from El Chupacabra, RYU, Doc Atrocity, Ken, Johnny Cage, Zangiev, Johnny Drinko, Anthony Butabi, DARK Sheik, and Cammy.
Main Event time for the P.M.A. Championship of Wrestling.
(8) “Psycho Shooter” Drake Younger beat THE Brian Kendrick with the Drake’s Landing (vertebreaker) in their first-ever encounter.