And people said it was a stupid name…(theyre right). Bold Italic returns to Hoodslam! They love us, dearly and clearly. We think they’re cool too, but we’re not ready to love again.
FUCK THE FANS VII RESULTS
Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans VII
Friday, October 7, 2016
Oakland Metro Opera House
Oakland, CA
Paid attendance: 931
Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody.
Tonight’s musical guest was Smellraiser.
1. Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstasy Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Intergalactic Tag Team Championship Tournament match: Virgil Flynn III and “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra def. Doc Atrocity and Brittany Wonder. The 10-points Virgil and Chupy earned with that victory secured them a place in the tournament finals.
2. Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstasy Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Intergalactic Tag Team Championship Tournament match: The West Side Playaz 2099 (Boyce in da Hood and Vanilla Icebox) def. The New U (Shotzi Blackheart and Brutal Rob Hands) via forfeit with Shotzi’s knee injury rendering her unable to compete.
3. Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstasy Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Intergalactic Tag Team Championship Tournament match: what was originally scheduled to be DARK Sheik and “The Talent” Ean Hancement (representing The CAUTION [Caution!] accompanied by “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees) vs. James C. and Juiced Lee turned into a three-on-three tag team match when “The Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta joined James C. and Juiced Lee and Anton Voorhees joined DARK Sheik and Ean Hancement. The Caution [Caution!] def. James C., Juiced Lee, and “The Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta.
4. “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan def. “The Patron Saint of Filth” Christina von Eerie.
5. Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstasy Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Intergalactic Tag Team Championship Tournament match: this match was originally scheduled to be The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny “Drinko” Butabi and Anthony Butabi) vs. The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott Stoner and Scott-Rick Stoner). Prior to the match, Referee Guido, who was in charge of this show, made the match a two-on-one handicap match with Johnny “Drinko” Butabi facing the Stoner Brothers alone. The Stoner Brothers def. Johnny “Drinko” Butabi.
5. Johnny “Drinko” Butabi def. Referee Guido.
6. 30-entity over-the-top-rope battle royal for the Golden Gig: P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) def. Drugz Bunny, DARK Sheik, “The Talent” Ean Hancement, Rick-Scott Stoner, “The Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta, Ryu, Boyce in da Hood, Doc Atrocity, Scott-Rick Stoner, The Hayward Heat, Virgil Flynn III, Brittany Wonder, The Hayward Heat (again), “The Russian Lover” Zangev, Cereal Man, “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan, Vanilla Icebox, Ken, The Hayward Heat (yet again), “The Patron Saint of Filth” Christina von Eerie, Johnny “Drinko” Butabi, Coach Joey Nuggs, “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees, “Brutal” Rob Hands (formerly “Bonus Boy” Bobby Burgerhands), Dr. No, Pooh Jack, James C., “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra, and Scorpiundertaker (with Kitana Fred Durst) to become the new Golden Gig champion.
You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, along with every other Hoodslam ever recorded, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.
Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday and will return on Saturday, October 22 for Hoodslam’s annual Halloween and horror show, BLOODSLAM. https://www.facebook.com/events/293876880962718/
Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.
Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam.
Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!
www.BirdsWillFall.com
JOEY RYAN V CHRISTINA VON EERIE AT FTF VII
The King of Dong Style and YouPorn sensation Joey ryan makes his Hoodslam debut Friday October 7th! This southern California based grappler has wrestled on national Television, been featured on sportscenter, traveled the globe – all the while swinging opponents by his Penis.
No stranger to intergender struggles, Joey Ryan has personally requested a female opponent for his Oakland arrival – and Hoodslam has obliged in a big way; The Patron Saint of Filth Christina Von Eerie will step up at Fuck the Fans VII to challenge the baby oiled assailant Joey Ryan in mortal combat!
Will Christina fight the tide of Dong? Or will the Era of sleaze begin in Oakland? And how will both these participants involvement reflect upon the 30 Entity Rumble for the Gold Gig?
By way of Finland, Ricky Vendetta
Word that the Golden Gig is up for grabs has spread both far AND wide: all the way to Ricky Vendetta of Finland! This fierce competitor begins his first tour of the United States in Oakland, CA – and aims to make a big splash by becoming the King of Mount Hoodslam on his first day in the hemisphere October 7th, at Fuck the Fans VII !
No stranger to combat, Ricky Vendetta has battled across Europe – most extensively with Fight Club Finland. He is also a former tag team partner of DARK Sheik, during his own tours in 2013. Please engage this YouTube reel provided us so as to familiarize yourself with our soon to be arriving friend -or foe- from a far.
GUIDO VS BUTABI
The road to the seventh annual Fuck the Fans has been treacherous… for performers AND staff! It all happened so quickly…
In the midst of August’s Battle Royal of Supremacy, our humble referee Guido crossed over from non-violent participant to active combatant after seeing the Butabis attack a referee who tried to stop them from cheating. His furious flurry of fists would quickly be overcome by the Butabi brothers (Anthony and Johnny Drinko), but his interruption started a chain of events that somehow led to him being the last man standing in the ring- and in control of FTF 7.
But heavy is the head that wears the crown, and – as is tradition in Hoodslam- revenge is swift. The Butabis brothers approached Referee Guido face to face and told him they weren’t too impressed by his win, leading to Guido saying some not too nice words himself. In the end, both Anthony and Johnny Drinko Butabi resorted to fisticuffs, and laid out our stoned official.
Referee Guido, perhaps enraged , then made a daring proclamation ; at Fuck the Fans VII he will personally fight at Hoodslam for the first time ever – Against Johnny Drinko Butabi! Shit is on like neckbone.
ONE GIG TO RULE THEM ALL
In August, Drugz Bunny was defeated for this most coveted of prizes – but by three entities at once.
Shotzi Blackheart of the New U, Anton Voorhees of The Caution and Johnny Drinko Butabi of the Knights of the Roxbury – none of whom were willing to share the award with the others.
In September a triple threat match was held to choose a single champion. By the time of the main event, however, all referees had been wounded in service. Drugz Bunny, the now former champion, would Don the referee shirt and officiate the battle.
But his temper would get the best of him, and he couldn’t help but get involved. After personally incapacitating all combatants, Drugz would declare himself the winner and leave with the Golden Gig!… but that shit doesn’t count.
Thusly, at Fuck the Fans 7, the annual number 1 contender 30 entity Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications has been altered! At the six year anniversary of the Golden Gig, it will be awarded to the winner of the Rumble- as it originally was in 2011.
History is in the making, October 7th, the two month vacancy ends, and a new Golden Gig Championship will be crowned.
Rock the BROMO Challenge FINALS
Our little Broseph is all growns up… what was once a gymrat douche doused in axe doing commentary for an underground party wrestledeathmachine has metamorphasized within a Brocoon and grown his brotterfly wings and we’re proud to say he’s now become a gymrat douche doused in axe who also goes to the finals in Las Vegas!
Judged personally by his old Tough Enough co-star Dwayne the Rock Johnson (The Tooth Fairy, 2010) , Broseph must now fill ONE WHOLE MINUTE with talking to win. Those who’ve been to the event or watched on our YouTube channel know how difficult for our brother this might be. But if he can somehow Brovercome, he will be awarded a friggin sweet Rock the Promo Championship golden title belt – the classiest of ways to keep up those awful orange shorts he always wears.
BLOODSLAM Presale
First of all, 10/7 is whats up stilll. Dont sleep on first fridays! BUT Yeah, we’re finally doing it again. You can get presale tickets to a Hoodslam event!
To be exact, a BLOODSLAM featuring GHOUL on 10/22! But there’s always a catch …
$40 ticket and exclusive limited print Bloodslam t shirt
$50 for that same ticket and shirt, plus a dope Bloodslam poster
Dollar dollar bill yall
FOLSOM STREET FAIR RESULTS
Hoodslam had the honor of performing THERE throbbing sets at the most massive leather and dick festival any of us have ever seen! Here’s how it went down;
Commentary provided by Broseph Joe Brody and Wonder Dave
Set 1:
1. Coach Nuggs defeated Richard Shhhhhnary
2. The Stoner Brothers defeated Hayward Heat
3. PBJ Banana fought Bobby Burgerhands
4. Russian Lover Zangev and Harley Quinn defeated Anthony Butabi and Brittany Wonder
Set 2:
1. Pooh Jack defeated Richard Shhhhhnary
2. Anthony Butabi defeated Russian Lover Zangev
3. Brittany Wonder defeated Harley Quinn
4. The Stoner Brothers defeated Coach Nuggs and Bobby Burgerhands
Set 3:
1. Pooh Jack defeated Rob Banks
2. Anthony Butabi, Brittany Wonder and The Stoner Brothers defeated Zangev, Richard Shhhhhnary, DARK Sheik and Coach Nuggs
Photos of the event courtesy of Bear Z Bub can be seen here on fakebucks.
See ya next year! Look forward to the hang out with the wang out.
BROSEPH ROCKS TO THE FINALS
The voice of Hoodslam, Broseph Joe Brody, has advanced to the finals of Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s “Rock the Promo” competition, compliments of the hardcore legend himself, Mick Foley!
Fuck em up, bro!
#Hoodslam #RockThePromo