Hoodslam: FEMMED OUT – Drag Me To Hell
Friday, February 6, 2015
Oakland Metro Operahouse
Oakland, CA
Paid attendance: Sold out
Tonight’s musical guest was Oinga Boinga.
Live commentary by Marilyn MonBROe, Doc Atrociti, Joani Drinko Butabi and Bat Shelly.
1. Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee (champion) def. THE Brian Kendrick with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig.
2. Mike Awesome Tribute Suicide Six-Way Clusterfuck Challenge (winner becomes the number one contender for the Golden Gig at the next Hoodslam on Friday, March 6): Bratt Manuel def. James C., “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Kruze, Mia Wallace, Sonya Blade, and “Ultramanuel” Battney Wonder when Bratt Manuel hit the Butt of Doom on James C.
3. Immediately following the previous match, Juiced Lee came out and challenged Bratt Manuel to a match for the Golden Gig to take place at that very moment. Bratt accepted. Juiced Lee def. Bratt Manuel with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig, leaving the number one contender spot for the Golden Gig on Friday, March 6 vacant.
4. Varsity Jacket Tag Team match: the Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with coach Joey Nuggs) def. Team Cheerburger (Cheerleader Missy Hyasshit and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) when the Stoner brothers hit the Rizz Bomb on Missy Hyasshit to retain the Varsity Jackets.
Special performance from The Cat Sweet.
5. Four-way tag team match: The Queens of the Roxbury (Joani Drinko Butabi and Antonia Butabi) def. the team of Xena, Warrior Princess and Hercules, the Legendary Hero, the team of Bat Shelly and Storm (with Rogue), and the team of Poison and Scorpion as Cammy (with Cammy’s Ass) when the Queens of the Roxbury hit the Boozeday Device on Poison.
6. Best Athlete in the East Bay co-championship: Sheik (Link dressed as Zelda dressed as Sheik) from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time def. Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer with an Iron Boot double stomp to become co-holder of the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award.
7. Doc Atrocity, after endless bitching and moaning, was declared “Miss Hoodslam,” and then suffered a bloodbath while the entire femmed out roster threw tampons at him and chanted “plug it up! Plug it up!” Also, the bouquet of flowers he was holding burst into flames. Weird.
8. Gauntlet match to determine the number one contender at EnterTania: a returning Drugz Bunny def. Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (PONG), Charlie Chaplin, Sage Sin Supreme, THE Brian Kendrick, Cereal Girl, Doc Atrocity, and Virigl Flynn III when he hit a Coke Slam on Virgil to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig in the main event of EnterTania.
Immediately following the match, Juiced Lee confronted Drugz Bunny and brutally beat him. James C. arrived to pick the bones of Drugz Bunny, but instead, slaughtered Juiced Lee with his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy. James then cashed it in to earn an impromptu no-disqualification match against Juiced Lee for the Golden Gig. James handcuffed Juiced, delivered the Gang Bang on an open steel chair, and pinned Juiced Lee to become the new Golden Gig Champion. Which means, at EnterTania, Hoodslam’s biggest show of the year taking place on Friday, April 3 at the Oakland Metro Opera House, the main event is scheduled to be James C. defending the Golden Gig against his former henchman, Drugz Bunny.
To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam
Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, March 6 for Hoodslam: Blood Sugar Sex Gimmik featuring musical guests, ArnoCorps.
Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!
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