Hoodslam “Dual Intentions” results
Friday, June 6, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 923

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Barenaked Labias.

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), Butternuts, and guest commentary from “The Metal Head Maniac” Sledge.

(1) Ken (w/Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) beat Ryu (also with Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) with the “Shoryuken” Dragon Punch.

(2) “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz & “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra (w/a very pregnant Courtney Crimson) beat “The Russian Lover” Zangief & Doc Atrocity (w/Botchy the Clown) & Lucha Magnifico in a six-entity tag team match when El Chupacabra hit the Adios powerbomb on Lucha Magnifico.

(3) The James Gang (James C. & Stony Montana) beat The Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony Butabi & Johnathan Butabi) when James C. hit the Gang Bang on Anthony Butabi.

(4) F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer w/P.O.N.G.) beat Drugz Bunny and Virgil Flynn III in a three-way match to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay. Virgil hit the 450 splash on Drugz Bunny and made the cover. With señor official, El Sparko’s vision impaired due to a cocaine malfunction, when F.O.N.G. laid on top of Virgil, who was covering Drugz Bunny, El Sparko did not see Virgil underneath F.O.N.G. and counted the pinfall, awarding the match to F.O.N.G., ending Virgil Flynn III’s year-plus reign as Best Athlete in the East Bay. 

(5) Scorpion beat “The Metal Head Maniac” Sledge with the spear-uppercut combo, followed by the Curb Stomp. Fatality.

(6) Stoner U. (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick w/Cheerleader Missy Highasfuck, Coach Joey Nuggs, and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) beat The Ballard Brothers (Shane Ballard & Shannon Ballard) with the Rizz Bomb.

(7) Juiced Lee beat P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer w/F.O.N.G.) and Bat Manuel in a three-way match in a three-way match for the Golden Gig when Juiced Lee hit a top-rope moonsault with a Mario Kart spiked turtle shell strapped to his chest.

To see this and previous shows in their entirety, CLICK HERE.

“Drinko de Mayo – Backlash”
Friday, May 2, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 931

Special opening performance from the Beach Bum Alcoholics.

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Penis Fly Trap.

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and Butternuts.

(1) “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra (w/five months-pregnant Courtney Crimson) beat “The Hebrew Hammer” Joseph Schwartz with the “Adios Motherf—–” powerbomb, then crowd-surfed to the bar to celebrate his birthday with the fans.

(2) Bat Manuel & Lucha Magnifico beat Stoner U (The Stoner Brothers – Rick Scott Stoner & Scott Rick Stoner – w/Coach Joey Nuggs and Missy Hyas-sh–) when Bat Manuel hit a top-rope senton on Scott Rick Stoner.

(3) “The Russian Lover” Zangief beat Ken (w/Cammy featuring Cammy’s Ass) with a spinning piledriver.

(4) James C. beat “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz with a superkick to Cruz’s head as Cruz was on his knees.

Special performance from Nephilim, who will be performing at the birthplace of Hoodslam, the Victory Warehouse (2400 San Pablo in Oakland, Calif.) on Saturday, May 17. $5 cover.

(5) GAME OVER (P.O.N.G. [Pissed-Off Nerdy Gamer] & F.O.N.G. [F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer]) beat the Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny “Drinko” Butabi & Anthony Butabi) in a Japanese International Console-Wars Deathmatch of Doom when F.O.N.G. hit a big splash on Anthony Butabi with Butabi underneath a Nintendo Entertainment System, Xbox, a Sega Saturn, a Hylian shield, and a Nintendo Power Pad.

Following the match, Johnny “Drinko” Butabi announced that he was going sober and gluten free, and insisted on being referred to as “Johnathan Butabi.”

(6) Juiced Lee beat Sub-Zero (w/Princess Kitana and Queen Sindel) with a top-rope moonsault to retain the Golden Gig Championship. Prior to the conclusion of the match, Scorpion returned and distracted Sub-Zero. Princess Kitana hit a low blow on Sub-Zero, aligning herself with Scorpion.

(7) Doc Atrocity & Giggles the Clown beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & Drugz Bunny when James C., who joined “Broseph” Joe Brody on commentary during the match, hit the Drive-By Driver on Drugz Bunny behind the referee’s back.

(8) Virgil Flynn III beat Ryu with a 450-splash, immediately followed by the Cannonball senton, to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award.

To see this and previous shows in their entirety, click HERE.

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody

1. Coach Joey Nuggs w/Missy Hyasshit b. Bobby Burgerhands

2. Charlie Chaplin b. Anthony Butabi

3. The Stoner Brothers (Scott Rick and Rick Scott) & Trent Hemridge (w/ Coach Nuggs and Missy Hyasshit) went to a draw against The Commandos (D-Unit and T-Rent) & DeDe Badapple

4. Broseph Joe Brody lost the Easter Egg Hunt

5. Ultra-Toad Toady Toadstofferson d. Prawn Cena after a run in from Mr. Sandman

6. Lucha Magnifico & Jesus Kruz & Trent Butabi & Ultragirl Brittany Wonder went to a draw with Scott Rick & Rick Scott & Joey Nuggs & Missy Hyasshit & Pudoo the Cow after Pooh Jack attacked all participants, incuding Referee Rubang

Hoodslam: EnterTania Results
April 4, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 990

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Mr. T…Bag.

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), and the returning “KG” Kevin Gill.

(1) Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tournament tag team match: Ken & P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) beat PB&J Banana & Lucha Magnifico when Ken hit a Hadouken/Shoryuken combo on the PB&J Banana.

(2) Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tournament tag team match: Bat Manuel & James C. (w/Stoney Montana) beat “Broseph” Joe Brody & Charlie Chaplin when Bat Manuel hit a Gore on Brody.

(3) Best Athlete in the East Bay Award: Virgil Flynn III beat Drugz Bunny with a 450-splash followed by the Cannonball senton to retain.

(4) Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tournament tag team match: El Chupacabra (w/Courtney Crimson) & Big Van Faber beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & “The Russian Lover” Zangief when El Chupacabra hit the “Adios” on Brittany Wonder after Zangief left the ringside area.

(5) Loser Leaves Hoodslam for 90 Days: Doc Atrocity (w/U.S.A. – United Sideshows and Atrocities) beat the Mayor of Hoodslam El Flaco Loco with a schoolboy roll-up after blinding him with zombie sauce.

(6) Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tournament four-way tag team match: the teams of Johnny Drinko Butabi & Rick Scott Stoner and Ryu & Scott Rick Stoner beat the teams of FONG (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer) & Prawn Cena and Anthony Butabi & “Super Bario Brother” Jesus Cruz, which immediately led into…

(7) The Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl: James C. (with Stoney Montana) beat Ken, PONG, Bat Manuel, El Chupacabra, Big Van Faber, Johnny Drinko Butabi, Rick Scott Stoner, Ryu, and Scott Rick Stoner to win the Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tournament trophy, and the right to face any Hoodslammer at any event in any type of match over the next year.

(8) Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee (co-holder of the Golden Gig) beat DARK Sheik (co-holder of the Golden Gig) with a top-rope moonsault to become the undisputed Golden Gig Champion.