Drinko de Mayo: Party Like a Chupacabra

Friday, May 3, 2013

Oakland, Calif. at Oakland Metro Opera House

Est. paid attendance: 670

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as “José Queervo.” Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and your Juggalo homie, “KG” Kevin Gill. Referees were Guido, Sparky Ballard, and Official Senior Official El Sparko.

(1) Juiced Lee defeated Virgil Flynn III with a vaulting top-rope moonsault after attempted interference from DARK Sheik was enough to allow Juiced Lee to secure the victory, albeit reluctantly.

(2) Drugz Bunny defeated James C. (w/Stoney Montana) with a second-rope sunset flip. James then challenged Drugz Bunny to a 1920s street fight at next month’s Hoodslam. If James loses, he will relinquish control of the James Gang to Drugz Bunny. If Drugz Bunny loses, he falls back in line as James’s subordinate.

(3) The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny Drinko Butabi & Anthony Butabi) defeated United Sideshows & Atrocities (Doc Atrocity & “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra w/Courtney Crimson, Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099, and Killer Clowns from Outer Oakland) when the Butabi Brothers hit a double Roxbury Bottom on Doc Atrocity after interference from Street Fighters Ken, Ryu, Cammy, and Cammy’s ass (which you can “like” on Facebook).

(4) Ken (representing Shotokan Dojo) defeated Johnny Cage (representing Earth Realm) with a hurricane kick off the top rope. Ken won the right to compete in Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge later in the evening.

At this time, the valet of DARK Sheik, D. FAUST, performed burlesque art performance dance theater magic.

(5) DARK Sheik (w/D. FAUST) & Otis the Gimp & “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder beat RYU & “Russian Lover” Zangiev & “Brazillian Beast” Blanka (w/Cammy) after Sub-Zero interfered and froze RYU solid, allowing DARK Sheik to score the pinfall. Fatality.

(6) Golden Gig Championship Identical Twin Tag Team Trial of Terror: Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) defeated the Ballard Brothers (Shane & Shannon) with the Rizz Bomb to retain the Golden Gig.

(7) Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 Challenge: E. Honda replaced Ken and became the first competitor to ever defeat Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 after interference on both sides from El Chupacabra, RYU, Doc Atrocity, Ken, Johnny Cage, Zangiev, Johnny Drinko, Anthony Butabi, DARK Sheik, and Cammy.

Main Event time for the P.M.A. Championship of Wrestling.

(8) “Psycho Shooter” Drake Younger beat THE Brian Kendrick with the Drake’s Landing (vertebreaker) in their first-ever encounter.

HOODSLAM 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY: “I’ll ALWAYS Know What You Did Last Hoodslam”

Friday, April 5, 2013

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Estimated paid attendance: 800+

“I’ll ALWAYS Know What You Did Last Hoodslam,” features ECW Original Mustafa Saed, the “Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bohdi, WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch, and the crowning of the Katt Williams Memorial Lethal Lottery Tag Team Tournament Battlebowl Championship. The winner will receive the coveted Katt Williams Memorial Trophy, which symbolizes the meteoric plummet of one career, to be sacrificed for the projection of another. The winner can use it at any Hoodslam to challenge any Hoodslammer in any type of match.

On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as “Grape Dungeon.” Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and Doc Atrocity.

1. Eight-Man Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Qualifier: Johnny Drinko Butabi/Anthony Butabi/Gorilla Vinny Butabi/Balki Butabi def. Blanka/Grandmaster G/Otis the Gimp/Johnny Cage when Balki Butabi hit an elbow drop off the top rope on Johnny Cage.

2. Three-Corner Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Qualifier: James C. (with Stoney Montana)/“The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra (with Courtney Crimson and Doc Atrocity) def the teams of “Rock Legend Scum” Adam Thornstowe/Drugz Bunny and “The Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz/”Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi when James C. hit the Gang Bang on Drugz Bunny.

3. Triple Threat Match: Ryu def. Ken and Vega (with Kammy) when Ryu hit a fireman’s carry slam on Ken.

4. Super Mutant Red Rhino 2099 def. Ryu in Doc Atrocity’s Super Mutant Red Rhino Arcade Challenge.

5. Four-Corner Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Qualifier:(the two surviving teams advance) DARK Sheik (with D FAUST)/Juiced Lee and Virgil Flynn III/Jolly Green Giant def. E. Honda/”Ultra-Girl” Brittany Wonder and “Broseph” Joe Brody/”The Russian Lover” Zangief. Zangief eliminated the team of E. Honda and Brittany Wonder when E. Honda accidentally hit his teammate with a charging headbutt and Zangief scored the pinfall. The team of “Broseph” Joe Brody and Zangief were eliminated when Virgil Flynn III hit a 450 splash on Zangief off of the 7-foot-tall Jolly Green Giant’s shoulders.

6. The Golden Gig Championship Match: The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick) def. Pooh Jack/ECW Original Mustafa Saed when the Stoner Brothers hit the Rizz Bomb on Pooh Jack with Pooh Jack stuffed inside a garbage can.

7. Katt Williams Memorial Battlebowl Championship Battle Royal: Virgil Flynn III def. Jolly Green Giant, DARK Sheik, Juiced Lee, James C, Johnny Drinko Butabi, Anthony Butabi, Gorilla Vinny Butabi, Balki Butbi, and “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra to win the Katt Williams Memorial Trophy and the right to challenge any Hoodslammer at any Hoodslam in any type of match.