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results: 6/21/19 Hoodslam Jet Grind Wrestling Future
hosted by Screaming Eagle Mike O Shea, Thicc Martel and Broseph Joe Brody, referees Wiggles and Nuk Nuk Johnson
- Big B defeated Bat-Manuel
– STAGE 1 OF 3 STAGES OF FUCKERY:
The CAUTION (CAUTION) defeated Stoner Brothers in a karaoke dual when the fans voted Anton Voorhees singing (just barely) over Rick Scott Stoner
2. Richard Shhhnary v Funnybone was declared a no contest when Da Squaaaaad interfered just cuz their dicks. Funnybone and Richard Shhhnary would fight back, though, and an impromptu tag match was dropped in our laps!-
2b. Da Squaaad (Hip Hop Harry Henderson and D-Rogue w/ Shakira Spears and Kenny K) defeated Richard Shhhnary and Funnybone after Funnybone ditched Shhhnary after Shhhnary tried to ditch Funnybone.
3. HBKen defeated Otto Von Kultch to prove to Sensei Joey Nuggs he had earned a shot at the Golden Gig. Nuggs would attack him immediately after and call out a referee to quickly end the match of
4. Sensei Joey Nuggs defeated HBKen to retain his position as the Man with the Golden Gig
– STAGE 2 OF 3 STAGES OF FUCKERY:
Stoner Brothers defeated The CAUTION (CAUTION) in the “Mike O Shea Challenge” when Scott Rick Stoner defeated DARK Sheik by being the fastest at rolling a blunt, smoking it, and drinking two beers.
5. El Chupacabra defeated Battleborn Barbarian
6. Johnny Butabi/Steven Tresario defeated Brutal Rob Hands/James C in a real slobberknocker of a tag matcH
– STAGE 3 OF 3 STAGES OF FUCKERY:
Stoner Brothers and The CAUTION (CAUTION) scored equal points in the Thicc Martel hosted “BFF FTF Challenge: Tags One to Know One” Trivia Game – after FOREVER -, and thus both teams must complete the punishment chosen by the other team. DARK Sheik and Anton Voorhees must recreate an episode of the 90s television show “Blossom” from Season 3, whiie Scott Rick Stoner and Rick Scott Stoner must recreate the motion picture action film “FACE/OFF”. Everyone loses.
7. Kenny K (with Da Squaaaad members Hip Hop Harry, Shakira Spears and D-Rogue) defeated Pooh Jack in a no weapons match. Afterwards, Da Squaaad would attack Pooh Jack, but Drugz Bunny would make the save and announced that he is medically cleared and at July 5th #AMERICA he would make his return to in ring action for the first time since March!
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Sexy GoodTime Wrestle Show: FEARLESS 6/28/19
The Sexiest Good Timiest Wrestling Show is EVERY last Friday of the month at the Oakland Metro Operahouse, and for June we decided to do something a little different! Typically we adopt a theme to cosplay – maybe video games, horror, space fiction. Fun stuff people for the Hoodslam roster to dress up as! Its great!
This month is COMPLETELY not that. Well, it’s still great. It’s hella great. Instead of adopting a theme, we’ve decided to celebrate one of the bay areas grandest traditions, PRIDE!
A lot of our crew are not of the community. Hey, we love’em, but they’re not on the show. We’re not gonna be dressing up like any gay icons.
What we are going to do is get some of the best talent from across the country who do represent the LGBTQIA. Performers that have broken barriers and carved their way into the pro wrestling industry. Talented motherfuckers that deserve a stage in Oakland!
To those who can’t make it, we are always live/free on twitch.tv/hoodslam every friday night!
21and^ folks, leave your pleasant children at home, it’s no place for them at a SEXY! GOODTIME! WRESTLESHOWWWWWWW!
results: 6/14/19 The Gathering Storm – GLAM
Here we go!
GLAM – The Gathering Storm opened up with Oinga Boinga playing a brand new opening song, which was rad, and then the brought out The LINK to the Future Anton Voorhees. Anton in turn brings out his CoHost for the evening Kathy Campanelli. They inform us of things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass. They then gave out Cereal Shots which must have been… delicious…?
And the show rolls on.
Trish Adora comes out and let’s us in on what she saw behind the Sun/Moon Door and it sounded like a bad time. Not wanting GLAM to suffer the same fate she called out the… Entity that came through the door after her last month and her new friend to send them both back through the door. They came out and it was the Villainess Vipress that answered the challenge.
Vipress defeated Trish when the mystery woman seemed to be giving Vipress additional power and strength throughout the match. She then spit some kind of Green Mist into Trish’s face and Vipress put Trish down.
After the match the Entity informed us her name is Tia Mott and she has come to feed on our hopes and heroes and she is here to stay. The only one who could stop her is the holder of the #SunKey and #MoonKey. Out comes Heather Monroe to possibly answer this challenge but Tia Mott uses her voodoo force telekinesis… what-have-you to choke the words out of Heather’s throat. Heather then says she has to go get ready for her match later and… walked briskly out of there. Tia, Vipress, and a seemingly hypnotized Trish left the ringside area and that was a lot to unpack.
Match 2!
Simone Sherie defeated The Great Bambina after some brutal back and forth action involving baseball bats, cereal, and almost the announce table. Simone is on quite a roll as of late.
Next comes Lady K looking even more focused than usual. Then Da Squaaaaaaaaaad comes out and Hip Hop Harry and Shakira Spears remind Lady K that she used to be on the top of the mountain here at GLAM and shes now lost everything. The #SunKey, her group the Disenchanted is no more, and that she needs to “Squad Up.” Lady K takes the mic and…. hits Harry with it.
Match 3
Lady K (Katarina Leigh Waters) defeated Lisa Lace / Shakira Spears in a dominating fashion. Not even attempted interference from Harry and D-Rogue could stop her.
Oinga Boinga plays some songs while Ultra Girl and Steven Tresario battle eachother with inflatable penises? Did I see that correctly? Crazy?
Match 4
Former WCW Superstar and Jung Dragon Kaz Hayashi defeated Juice Lee in an insane match. These two members of the Hayashi Family had something to prove to one another and prove it they did.
Match 5
Vulcana Pro Wrestler vs ‘Ultra Girl’ Brittany Wonder ended in a no contest after Vipress came out and attacked both women, almost taking Vulcana’s head off with a nasty Downward Spiral. I guess they weren’t kidding about coming for our heroes.
Heather Monroe comes out to defend her “championship” as she called it, putting the Sun/Moon Keys on the line against DARK Sheik. Before the match gets started though Heather informs referee Aleyah Mia Garcia that, just because she was on Monday Night Raw, she’s still not a real wrestler. But Heather was willing to give her one more chance to referee unbiasedly.
Match 6
Heather Monroe defeated DARK Sheik in a match that went everywhere. On the bar, at the merch tables, around the ring, off the walls… at one point Sheik slammed Heather on a guardrail and then missed and elbow drop off the ring to the floor. It was madness. The end of the match came when Heather (inadvertently?) shoved Sheik into Aleyah before hitting a Michinoku Driver but… Aleyah was unable to make the count. Heather and Sheik battled more and eventually Heather hits a Superplex into another Michinoku Driver for the win. Afterward Heather makes Aleyah raise her hand in victory and then clotheslines her… to… assert dominance? I dunno. Seems uncalled for.
Is Aleyah going to come back next show? Is Trish brainwashed by Tia Mott? Will Da Squaaaaaaaaaad regroup and renew their dastardly ways????
Find out on July 12!!!!!
WAR JOURNAL featuring MVP free on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BOdLA1bkNs&t=3445s
(to the tune of Turbonegros “All my friends”) All our shits for freeeee. All our shits for freeeEEEEe WE ALWAYS KNEW THAT IT WOULD END UP LIKE TODAY
results: War Journal – 6/7/19 Hoodslam
From the Oakland Metro Operahouse, music by the Hoodslam Band
Stoner U Pre Show Hosted by Scott Rickerson and Screaming Eagle Mike O Shea
0. Big B defeated Bartman
1. The CAUTION (Link to the Future Anton Voorhees & DARK Sheik) and Boone Ashlocke defeated The Stoner Brothers (Scott Rick & Rick Scott Stoner) and Ballsy Badass Shotzi Blackheart
2. Hidden Gem Matt Carlos defeated Juice Lee
3. Mexican Werewolf El Chupacabra (winner of the Virgil Flynn III Memorial Trophy) defeated The Dark Noche Bat-Manuel
4. Whoa Whoa Dojo (Heartbreak Ken & Golden Gig Champion Sensei Joey Nuggs) defeated Brutal Rob Hands & James C and Johnny Drinko Butabi & Steven Tresario in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match
5. Best Athlete in the Eastbay Golden Fannypack Champion Richard Shhhnary (with Berkeley Brawler) defeated Funnybone to retain the Championship
6. MVP, Cereal Man, Viva Van & Pooh Jack defeated Da Squaaad (Hip Hop Harry, Shakira Spears, Kenny K & D-Rogue)
It’s up free on the interwebs, look look
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results: Sexy GoodTime Wrestle Show Saturday Night Slam Masters 6/01/2019
Hosted by Broshi and Wendy Koopa
1. Trevor Belmont defeated Noob Saibat
2. Uncle Fester defeated Dante
3. Eddie Gordo defeated Ryu and Sub-Zero
4. Jill Valentine and Princess Peach defeated Earl and Erl
5. T- Hawk defeated Soldier 76
6. Trevor Phillips, Franklin Clinton and Michael De Santa defeated Dutch Van der Lind, Arthur Morgan and Johny Marston
results: Tombstone Polydriver – 5/24/19 Hoodslam
Hosted by Texas Mike O Shea, Link to the Future Anton Voorhees and Nuk Nuk Johnson
Music by Hoodslam Band
1. Shakira Spears defeated Steve West
2. The CAUTION Anton Voorhees and DARK Sheik defeated Stoner Brothers Scott Rick Stoner and Rick Scott Stoner
3. Anthony Butabi defeated Big B
4. Richard Shhhnary defeated Joey Ryan in a Sanctum of Silence Match to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks
5. HBKen defeated James C
6. Hidden Gem Matt Carlos defeated Funnybone, Boone Ashlocke and Thicc Martel in a Fatal Four Way
7. Sensei Joey Nuggs defeated Brutal Rob Hands to retain his hold on the Golden Gig
results: Party Animal Farm 5/3/19
Hosteph by Brosted, music by band Hoodslam the.
1. The CAUTION (DARK Sheik and Anton Voorhees) defeated 4 Minutes of Heat (Ricky Gibson and Eddie Pearl)
2. El Chupacabra defeated Juice Lee
3. Da Squaaad (Shakira Spears, Hip Hop Harry, Kenny K) defended the Intergalactic Tag Team Champions against the Stoner Brothers (Scott Rick and Rick Scott Stoner)
4. James C defeated Hayward Heater Big B
5. Hidden Gem Matt Carlos defeated 1 Percenter Royce Isaacs
6.Sensei Joey Nuggs defended the Golden Gig against Bat-Manuel
7. Richard Shhhnary defeated Funnybone,
UPCOMING EXCITEMENTS –
We’ve got a lot coming up in the next 6 or so weeks that we’re excited to tell you about. All of these events are currently up on our eventbrite page. Lets make some craaaazy wrestling, are ya ready? here we go! ay yi yi yi yiiiiiiiii
This FRIDAY MAY 24TH – maybe our favorite name for a show all year, featuring the Hoodslam returns of the Party Manster, the Handsome Devil himself, Anthony Butabi! Also, you may know him from his extra work on the hit series “The Good Life”, famous dick wrestler and King of Dong Style Joey Ryan will be in the house, and he challenges for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks against the best librarian in wrestling (sorry Leva and Petey) the reigning and defending Richard Shhhnary! Being defended as well is the greatest prize in all of wrestling, forged from the souls of a 1000 dead wrestlers, the Golden Gig! The Man who Holds the Golden Gig Sensei Joey Nuggs will defend against his former protege, #bigguyshit Brutal Rob Hands!
Also, like 4 other matches.
June 1st, a special SATURDAY Hoodslam! We’re taking a friday night off – our last for the year – on May 31st, but the very next day we are back at the Oakland Metro Operahouse for “HOODSLAM presents SEXY GOOD TIME WRESTLE SHOW: Saturday Night Hoodslam Masters – Press Start to Continue”. …seriously? that’s ALL part of the friggin title? Yes, loosely titled after the obscure capcom pro wrestling super nintendo game from 1993 (fun fact, in Japan its called ‘Muscle Bomber: The Body Explosion’. Rad) its our annual tradition to all things video gamey. Featuring all your favorite Hoodslammers cosplaying as characters from 8 bit and up, and a special burlesque performance! Feel free to dress appropriately, Hoodslam’s a fucking party ya’ll.
June 7th, the first Friday of June! It’s a special day as we are graced with the presence of former WWE US and Tag Team Champion, the first ever IWGP Intercontinental Champion, featured on CNN, host of his own podcast and TEDxTalk Presenter MVP! War is hell…
The 2nd Friday of every month is Hoodslam’s sister company , GUILTY LETHAL ACTION MAYHEM! Every GLAM is hosted by the Link to the Future Anton Voorhees and possibly one day a female co host who doesn’t cancel last minute on us for the UMF time. Also, from the 5th dimension, live music by THE Oinga Boinga! Last event we saw this mysterious figure emerge from the Sun and Moon Door. Trish Adora, after visiting the other side, has warned all of us to never open the door again. However, Heather Monroe is the current keeper of the Sun Key AND the Moon Key… and last month after a debate over What is Real with the Infamous Lady K she realized for the first time ever that she DOES believer! What happens June 14th? IDONTKNOWWWWWWWWW
For some odd reason this GLAM will also feature former WCW Superstar Kaz Hayashi!
JUNE 21st! Remember Jet Grind Radio on dreamcast? Man that was a cool game. The art, the music. Really fresh stuff. Anyway, this show isn’t about that. We just liked the art style for our poster. It’s gonna be wrestling. Maybe the best wrestling ever. It is the date of the Hoodslam equinox, the mid point by which we catch first glimpse of the meandering melancholy whimsy of gods destined but desireless to define our destiny. Cool game, though.
june 28th…. oh you just wait.
JULY 5TH ITS #AMERICA MOTHER FUCKERS SHARTZI FUCKING BUTTFART IS COMING BACK TO EAT YOUR SPICY NUTS AND VOMIT BLOOD IN A BUCKET FOR 3 HOURS LIVE WHILE CRY SINGING THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER AND MAKING HOWLING NOISES CUZ AMERICA BITCHES GETSUM BE PROUD AND BE FREE
Go to our event brite, buy tickets to all of them, k thanx bye forever