All posts by admin
Shelly Martinez
Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal match at Hoodslam FTFV: Broetic Justice on October 3rd!
A battle that will transcend time and space. Who will be in charge after this fight transpires?
.
.
SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL!… Anything can happen!
.
.
El Flaco Loco vs Doc Atrocity
Shelly Martinez VS Brittany Wonder Oct 3rd
Round 3 between Shelly Martinez and “Ultra Girl” Brittany Wonder in the first ever “Lights On, Falls Count Anywhere: Raven’s Rules” match! — with Brittany Wonder and Shelly Martinez.
.
.
Fuck You Bro, and Fuck the Fans!
Dear Hoodslam fans,
Fuck you, bro. Seriously. You wanna hate on ME? For what? My taste in awesome music (LONG LIVE Nickelback)? My taste in AXE scents? The fact that I have to fight the pussy off with a stick night after night? The fact that I banged some big-tittied stripper bitch on a nationally-televised reality TV show? You hella jella.
I dare you to hate on me in person. I. Fucking. Dare you.
Bring the hate to the Oakland Metro Operahouse on Friday, October 3 for Hoodslam’s biggest show of the fall, Fuck the Fans V. I am going to crush-fuck every last one of you into oblivion. And it will be #BROeticJustice.
Fuck the fans. Fuck your day. And fuck you, too. BRO!!!
Your BROliness,
– BJB
Broseph gets this reaction everywhere he goes.
Admit it, you hate his success. (This is not porn.)
El Flaco Loco VS Doc Atrocity for the control of Hoodslam
Doc Atrocity is high on a steroid concoction of power ever since defeating El Flaco Loco and taking control of Hoodslam. His plan is to annihilate the multiverse- starting with destroying Oakland!
Back in February an election was held to determine the Mayor of Hoodslam between El Flaco Loco, Doc Atrocity and our sometimes announcer. El Flaco Loco, Norcal wrestling legend and part time Hoodslam commentator delivered an impassioned speech that whipped the hundreds in attendance into a frenzy, and was shortly after named the official winner of the Mayor of Hoodslam election! This would not last long as they would challenge again for in a “Loser Leaves Hoodslam for 90 days” match at Entertania, with Doc Atrocity winning after pouring zombie sauce into the eyes of El Flaco Loco.
With no one to stop him, Doc Atrocity would crave more power- by declaring himself also in control of Oakland, San Francisco and the rest of the world. Broseph Brody was finally disgusted by his actions when Doc interrupted his birthday party and beat him in a match to continue the celebration.
Upset by his loss, Doc Atrocity tried to exact revenge last month by interrupting the show and assaulting Broseph along with his sideshow freaks, beating him into a pile of glitter. In a surprising return, El Flaco Loco entered for the save and cleared the ring of the sideshow freaks- claiming that he is the original Mayor of Hoodslam! Now they will meet again Oct 3rd at BROetic Justice to settle who is the one true Mayor! FTF!
Hoodslam presents Fuck the Fans V: BROetic Justice • Friday, October 3 • Oakland Metro Operahouse (630 Third Street in Oakland, CA) • 8:30pm • $10 at the door • 21 and over • Full bar • Live music from The Hoodslam Band • DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!
Cheap Popcast goes Hoodslam
Check out the latest episode of the Cheap Popcast as they declare Hoodslam to be a true indi promotion and the equal of any other wrestling promotion in the world!
Download the episode here! Hoodslam praise starts @ 1:20.
Find out what all of social media is talking about on Oct. 3rd, for FTF V: BROetic Justice
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
BROetic Justice October 3rd!
Fresh off a vaginal safari tour of VH1’s Dating Naked, Broseph Brody is planning on fucking the fans Oct. 3rd for his show- BROetic Justice! A few weeks ago, he won the Battle Royal for Supremacy and gets to run Hoodslam for the night high atop his throne on Mt Brolympus! So far Broseph has booked the following matches-
-
Shelly Martinez VS Brittany Wonder in a falls count anywhere match!
-
El Flaco Loco VS Doc Atrocity to determine the Mayor of Hoodslam!
Last weeks show was 3 hours long, so more matches to be announced. We’ve been fucking the fans for 5 years now, so be sure to show up at the Oakland Metro Oct. 3rd for Fuck the Fans V: BROetic Justice!
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
Still Your Golden Gig Champion!
Holy $#@!, is Juiced Lee the most dominant champion to ever step into a Hoodslam arena? He must be, because he just defended the his title again against fan favorite Pooh Jack last Friday to retain the Golden Gig Championship! Pooh Jack is one of hoodslam’s toughest competitors who brings every weapon he can fit into a trashcan- kendo sticks, crutches, and assorted computer parts to smash his opponents whenever he appears in the ring. But last Friday Pooh Jack fought on an even playing field and ended up with his head bashed into a trashcan while Juiced Lee stomped onto him from the top-rope!
While Juice Lee has been known to rip the internal organs out of his opponents, he has the honor of the Golden Gig championship to uphold; so he joined the fans in showing respect for Pooh Jacks’ effort. Pooh Jack is just the latest wrestler to fall before Juiced Lee’s martial prowess; Dark Sheik, Drugz Bunny and Bat Manuel have all felt his rage. How many bodies must fall before he wins the respect of the Hoodslam fans? Since he is a fighting champion he will probably return Oct. 3rd for BROetic Justice!
Hoodslam: FTF V – BROetic Justice
October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids
SHOW RESULTS – 9/5 Hoodslam in Oakland, Calif.: THE Brian Kendrick, Shelly Martinez part of this month's show
PWTorch Hoodslam Results
September 5, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid Attendance: 914
On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Johnny Cockring. Hoodslam’s original ring announcer, Emilio “Ike” Burner returned. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch, VH1’s Dating Naked), El Flaco Loco, and Coach Joey Nuggs.
(1) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link with the Spanish Fly off the top rope.
(2) Battle Royal to set up a number one contender’s match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award: Cereal Man & Scorpion beat Manimal, Ken, P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), “The Russian Lover” Zangief, and “The Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz. Cereal Man and Scorpion will face each other at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” to determine the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award, currently held by F.O.N.G. (F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer).
(3) Shelly Martinez beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder with a choking STO, which followed Shelly spitting period blood in Brittany’s face after the referee was inadvertently struck. As a result of the questionable tactics used by Shelly Martinez to gain the victory, “Broseph” Joe Brody announced their third and tie-breaking match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice.” Shelly accepted, on the condition that it will be a Falls Count Anywhere match.
Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. (United Sideshows and Atrocities) challenged “Broseph” Joe Brody to a match. He accepted, but before the match could begin, the former mayor of Hoodslam, El Flaco Loco, returned to Hoodslam and cleared the ring of Doc Atrocity and the U.S.A. “Broseph” immediately made a match for Friday, October 3 at “FTFV: BROetic Justice” – Doc Atrocity vs. El Flacco Loco, the winner to receive the office of mayor of Hoodslam.
(4) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy cup semifinal match: Jonathan Butabi beat THE Brian Kendrick with the Roxbury Bottom. As a result, the finals of the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament, and the main event to come later that night, is “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra vs. Jonathan Butabi.
(5) Smoklahoma Iron Lung Challenge: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott & Scott Rick w/Coach Joey Nuggs and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) beat The WBs (Jesus “Chewie” Martinez & Benito Martinez) after hitting a Rizz Bomb on Benito.
(6) Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee beat Pooh Jack after a brainbuster on a pile of weapons to retain.
(7) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup exhibition six-man tag team match: Drugz Bunny & Virgil Flynn III & Anthony Butabi beat DARK Sheik & James C. & Ryu when Drugz Bunny hit a Cokeslam on Ryu. The competitors remained at ringside to witness the final match in the tournament.
(8) Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Finals: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat Jonathan Butabi with an O’Conner Roll to win the Top of the Skydreamer’s Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament trophy.
[ FYI: To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, click HERE. Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, October 3 for their biggest show of the fall, “BROetic Justice.” Hoodslam is a 21+ event. Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.