Yeah, I’m doing this shit again. I was asked to. Normally I’d say fuck that shit, but it’s a Monday and I got bored, so here ya go.

So yeah. It’s a sports game. What the fuck could I possibly have to say about a sports game that’s 20 years old?! Well you clicked the link so, fuck you, you wanted to find out, and you will likely be disappointed. Anyways, here it goes.

In like…1994, Nintendo decided it would be a great idea to make a baseball game for the SNES. Being based in Seattle (I think, again…fuck you guys, I aint doing research, I’m a heel now) they decided that the poster boy for their new game should be Seattle Mariners superstar center fielder and future Hall of Famer, Ken Griffey Jr. Wise choice probably. Griffey was arguably the best player in the game during the mid ninties. So it’s an MLB game starring Ken Griffey Jr, cool right? Well…aparrently, he’s the ONLY player in the MLB in the game. Sort of. You see Griffey is the only guy in the game who has his real name. Don’t worry, there is a #25 on the Giants that plays left field and hits a shit ton of home runs, but his name is S. Pickford or some shit. I think Darren Dalton on the Phillies is named R. Balboa (get it…he’s from Philadelphia). So while it would seem that having a 700 player roster where only one guy actually has his real name would suck ass, it really doesn’t. Most teams have a theme to them. For example, the names of players on the Rockies include S. Raimi, B. Legosi, B. Karloff, etc. (Get it?! Rockie HORROR!!! LOLosaurus Rex!!!) and the Kansas City Royals are all named after US Presidents. It can be kind of fun playing a game and realizing what all the names of the players have in common, or also NOT fun at times when you realize that the names are just a bunch of game devolopers putting themselves over. S. Pickford would be one of those, and by the way. That #25 guy on the Giants seemed to be dumbed down a little in order to make sure Griffey was the best player in the game. Seems odd that a former Gold Glove winner has a defense rating of 6 out of 10….just saying…

THE STADIUMS

Every stadium in the game is designed after the stadium that it was supposed to represent. Granted many stadiums of the era were just BOWLS that doubled as football stadiums, but still, atleast they tried. You have all 28 stadiums here (Diamondbacks and Rays didn’t exist yet), and the stadium will have turf or grass accordingly. This seems like no big deal now, but back then most baseball video games just had that one BIG BLUE STADIUM that all the games were played in (Fuck Roger Clemens Baseball). Another great thing is that the field dimensions are accurate, as are wall heights, so the Green Monster will rob you of home runs, but a home run to right field at Fenway is just a chip shot.

SEASON MODE

This is what makes this game kick ASS. I already mentioned that the names of players do not match, but the players are all basically exactly who they should be. What you have here is the 1993 MLB roster, atleast the roster the way it ended that season (Will Clark is still on the Giants but Fred McGriff is already on the Braves…oops I meant S. Threll and D. Crime or…whatever the fuck.) The game also gives you the exact and accurate season schedule for the 1993 MLB season, so you will relive the season the way it went down, no matter which team you pick. Another cool thing is that you can have the season standings and divisions set the old school way, with each league having only west and east divisions, or the way it was reformed in 1994 (ironically, the season where NOTHING HAPPENED) to have the three divisions and 8 team playoff. If a 162 game season seems like too much for you, you can also select a short or medium season which are significantly shortly. Your season will also keep stats for your players, which, again…seems like nothing but was a BIG deal at the time. Granted, they sometimes like to MAGICALLY erase at the All Star Break sometimes, but it’s still cool.

GAMEPLAY

This game is simple and fun. You can pick it up and play it pretty much immediately. It’s fuckin’ baseball. You hit the ball, you catch it, you throw it. You run around. Easy. The computer AI is fairly good, but you can quickly learn their tendancies, and some outright mistakes they will make. Example. Have a runner on first and second with one out. A groundball to an infielder would be a double play to end the inning right? Hit a ground ball to the first baseman, and he’ll say “FUCK DOUBLE PLAYS!” and fire the ball completely across the diamond to third trying to get the force out on the lead runner…9 times out of 10 NOT getting him either. Sweet, bases loaded, double play still ends the inning. Hit a ground ball to the shortstop and he’ll say “FUCK DOUBLE PLAYS!” and fire the ball completely across the diamond to home trying to get the force out on the lead runner…9 times out of 10 NOT getting him either! Sweet, there should be like 7 outs now but instead I’ve scored a run and still have the bases loaded. Hit another grounder and the same shit will happen. I’ve literally had 6 run innings without having a ball leave the infield. Seems unfair for the computer but, it evens out. Seriously, try stealing a base. You’ll NEVER do it. You’ll MAYBE steal 2nd if you’ve got like Rickey Henderson (oops, I mean uh….B. Montie) and the catcher is like…on the Brewers. Forget about third base though. Again, wanna get to third, hit a fuckin’ groundball.

Some more fun is the homeruns, but…yeah they can be suspect at times. You can hit homeruns up to 575 ft, and this is BEFORE the Steriod Era (unless you’re an Oakland A’s fan). For guys like Griffey or….fuckin’ S. Pickford or…T. Savini or A. Creed or whatever…this makes since. But I’ve literally had Greg Maddox hit home runs completely out of Tiger Stadium. What a beast! It always would piss me off though when I’d hit a monsterous homerun off the foul pole though and find out the distance was only 325 ft. I could spit over that fence – Tom Selleck

FINAL THOUGHTS (I’m tired of typing)

One thing that kinda sucks it that there is only ONE music track that plays for the entire game, atleast the actual baseball game itself. Atleast it’s a good and long one (that’s what she said) but you will wish there was more. Also, your players will some times argue after they get struck out…even if they swing and miss. That’s….denial in the highest form. I’ve mentioned the names over and over again, but the game does allow you to edit all the names, EXCEPT Griffey. So if you have like a month of free time, get on the internet machine and change each name to the actual names, or goof off. I changed all the names on the Giants to the people on my little league team back in 1996 (I know because they were STILL THERE). Oh, and the Montreal Expos are still around, plus the Brewers are in the AL, and of course the Astros are in the NL. There is a home run derby, but unfortunately you only have 6 guys to pick from, and 5 are COMPLETELY made up guys (or maybe classic guys with stupid names) and of course, Griffey put himself over here too. All Star Games can be done, but you HAVE to play in Baltimore, which was the home of the 1993 ALG.

In all…gee, what do I say about this one. Well, it’s got flaws that show 20 years later, but in 1993 or 1994, this game was just about flawless. In the era were many baseball games didn’t even have the MLB team names, this one has the whole roster basically, even with screwed up names. This game was a HUGE step in the right direction for sports games, and it still is tons of fun to play today, and not just for nostalgia. It’s a great game, and it’s a shame that Ken Griffey Jr went to the Reds later in his career because once he left Seattle, this franchise went away. Then again, Griffey was pretty much injured the last 10 years of his career, but still. If you have a copy of this game, bust it out and play it today, you’ll have a lot fun. If you DON’T have a copy of this game, well….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA because I do. I say 10/10, for realsies. Sports games now a days try to be too realistic, and this one is the perfect blend of cartoony and arcade style gameplay mixed with some realism. If I want a totally realistic baseball experience, I’ll go outside and fuckin’ play baseball. If I want to hit a 550 ft home run with fuckin’ Ozzie Smith and try to steal home with Jose Canseco, I can do it in this game. Search flea markets, try to pick this up. But make sure it’s this one, fuck Winning Run.

That’s all, piss off. See ya on August 2nd