After the events of the Fall of the Hoodslammer, the roster found itself ever more frequently forming groups. Having four individuals come from another dimension and start killing off your friends will do that. We present to you the crew as grouped at time of writing.

<This page is a constant work in progress, show mercy and patience>

EMOHEADS

The Leader of the EMO HEADS and Stone Cold enthusiast Brooke Havok was one of the many who looked to fill the void after the Fall of the Hoodslammer. She quickly recruited TV’s Alan Angels, and soon they found a new member in Brutal Rob Hands.

Rob, finding himself unable to deal with his emotions after the Funeral for his friend Sweet Boone and the other Hoodslammers massacred, looked to the EMO HEADS to help him control himself. However, it may have worked the other way: they very recently made the emotional choice of dognapping Sweet Boone’s murderer and betrayer, the demon who fooled Boone into thinking he was his dead dog resurrected.

Brutal would go on to have his part in the final battle of The Fallen.

Afterwards, the EMO HEADS would recruit D-Torch, referring to him as their Scene-sei.

[In Hoodslam lore, D-Torch was first seen when a number of Hoodslammers traveled to an alternate reality where they came across a laboratory that belonged to (a presumably alternate) Doc Atrocity. The human experiments there had broken free, and D-Torch had become their leader – at the time known as Doc Torchy. After the Hoodslammers defeated them, D-Torch was accidentally brought to our reality, where he became an emokid. Possbly Emo patient Zero.]

Unfortunately, Brooke Havok AND D-Torch would soon be arrested by the Federal Bureau of EMOstigations for emitting dangerous levels of EMO. Brutal Rob Hands has once again been left alone with his feelings.

The FBE would come back for Brutal Rob, but Brooke and D-Torch would break free and join in a final battle. After Brooke murdered 3/5 agents with the power of EMO, 1 vigilante member went on the run, and 1 said it was beautiful. The case was closed. [heres a more detailed summary of that last bit]

The EMO Heads are now free to be sad about whatever they want.

Brooke Havok, Brutal Rob Hands and D-Torch

The CAUTION & Vipress

The CAUTION (CAUTION) have been a part of Hoodslam for like 7 years – which is crazy to think about. Originally founded by Ean Hancement and a robot version of DARK Sheik built by Doc Atrocity (don’t worry about it), they would soon expand to include Anton Voorhees and trade the robot sheik for the real doll. Ean Hancement would go on to surrender himself to space prison for The CAUTION’s illegal interdimensional travel and be sold into a mortal kombat-esque tournament to the death(again, don’t worry about it) before breaking free and deciding to go home and be a family man.

DARK Sheik would ask Vipress to join her and Anton, as she saw Vipress as an outside source that Sheik could trust to watch her back and give her an honest opinion. Reports vary on how that actually turned out, but the three have formed a cohesive unit when necessary, albeit rarely, including a run as Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

Anton Voorhees, DARK Sheik and Vipress would have their part in the final battle with the Fallen.

When the dust settled, Anton Voorhees had suffered injury and Vipress left with the Golden Gig. The interpersonal relationships between Vipress and DARK Sheik have reach abusive levels, and Anton has found himself feeling the effects from toxic fallout. He let his voice be known, but this somehow didn’t make everything better.

DARK Sheik would offer an ultimatum: either Vipress would give Sheik the Golden GiG, or Sheik would leave. The result: Sheik would leave. Anton and Vipress would show that they can accomplish much in Sheik’s absence, but the entire alliance appears to be on thin ice.

At FTF, The Lost Treasures took advantage of this perilous position, and booked The BOOM Gang against The CAUTION, with whoever being pinned forced to join the other faction. With Sheik’s non participation, Anton and Vipress instigated an attack on James C that left the BOOM Gang without their leader as they enter the arena of war.

BOOM GANG

James C has always favored strength in numbers, going back to his days as a mobster in the 1920’s. The Stoner Brothers also recognize the benefits of working as a team, something they’ve been doing ever since the womb [presumably, no evidence exists to the contrary]. These three imposing figures have formed their own separate troupes, The James Gang and Stoner University, but only recently formed into the menacing mountains of man meat we know today.

Trish Adora shockingly joined the group. A heavy hitter herself, she is no stranger to Hoodslam having debuted in 2019. But this is not the Trish Adora from four years ago. She’s traveled the globe, been a defending World Champion and isn’t fucking around [as much]. Her new partnership with James C and the Stoner Brothers makes the BOOM Gang arguably the most feared faction fighting.

However, when it came time to defend Hoodslam against The Fallen, they attacked Team Suck and Blow and left them to be decimated, directly leading to the death of former James Gang member and face of the friggin company, Drugz Bunny.

They, too, would feel the sting, soon enough. New recruit Lil’ Crush joined the group and was murdered by angelic She/Her the same night he debuted.

The BOOM Gang would have no part in the final encounter with The Fallen.

James C won the prize to book Octobers Fuck the Fans event, but the Stoner Brothers wagered this award against the Lost Treasures and their Intergalactic Tag Team Championship. Due to the actions of Anton Voorhees, they would lose that wager.

At FTF, The Lost Treasures cruelly placed them in a match against The CAUTION – whoever was pinned would be forced to join the other group. But, after being attacked by The CAUTION and EMO Heads, James C was declared to injured to perform at FTF, leaving the Stoner Brothers to presumably fight The CAUTION outnumbered.

Scott Rick Stoner Rick Scott Stoner James C and Trish Adora

NEW DAWGZ

They’re new, they’re dawgz, they’re new dawgz! Well, not like brand new – Cereal Man has been making appearances in Hoodslam ever since first visiting earth nearly a decade ago. In the wake of this All New, All Different, Hella Deadly Hoodslam he has decided to help the newest batch of Stoner U students to hit the market – Marcelo Jaguar Montoya and Rey Kaiju Joey Gonzo.

Marcelo once joined DARK Sheik in the ill-fated CAUTION2, but was just as quick to discard his shirt as he was to don it. However, his allegiance this time, perhaps strengthened with the presence of his tag partner Joey Gonzo, appears to have more longevity. At first it was thought that they may simply be using Cereal Man to get a foot in the door, but it now appears that they truly do find comfort under his frosted sugary wings.

The New Dawgz would have no part in the final fight against The Fallen.

Cereal Man would find himself distracted by his battles in Hoodslam Arizona, by the ever present Cereal Wars, and just like anything but Gonzo and Montoya. Marcelo would finally let his emotions out and let Cereal Man know that he feels neglected, and that as a Jaguar he has conflicted feelings about being a New Dawg. Gonzo, for his part, felt slighted by both. Neither had asked him how he felt about his recent trials, tribulations and flirtations with glory.

At FTF, the Lost Treasures used their booking gifts granted to put the New Dawgz in a dog-eat-dog position. Cereal Man would face Jaguar Montoya with Joey Gonzo as the referee.

Cereal Man, Joey Gonzo and Marcelo Montoya

LOST TREASURES

Lost Treasures Matt Carlos and Joe DeSoul have done almost all there is to do at Hoodslam: orginally performing as Ryu and Ken, they shed their skin to reveal the snakes that they are – and to be real, we appreciate people being themselves. They may come off as aloof, but Joe DeSoul has been in some of the most violently shocking deathmatches ever seen in Oakland and Matt Carlos sits quite high as one of the FEW members of the roster to achieve a triple crown (Golden Gig, Best Athlete and Tag Team Championship reigns). Most impressively though? They know how to survive in Hoodslam.

This may come in handy to new member Lara Frazier. Adventurer and treasure hunter, they’ve just recently found their way into the fold based on the apparent relation to their gimmicks. They haven’t quite figured out the marketing yet, but they’re sure there’s something there… right?

The Lost Treasures would have no part in the final chapter against The Fallen.

Finding themselves as Intergalactic Tag Team Champions once again, they were able to defeat The BOOM Gang and gain booking rights to Octobers Fuck the Fans event.

Matt Carlos, Joe DeSoul and Lara Frazier

Team SUCK and BLOW

El Chupacabra, Juice Lee and Drugz Bunny are three pillars of the Hoodslam community. Juice Lee having performed in the first match at the first show – Drugz and Chupacabra soon to follow in 2011 – their hearts and souls have been on display to Oakland for over a decade. That’s why when The Fallen came to Hoodslam through a tear in reality, it was no surprise that these three stepped up as the Frontline of defense.

Okami, also no stranger to the slam, has recently even volunteered to command the leash of the Chupacabra, so as best to keep the feisty cryptid focused.

However, things took a sour note quickly. They would never get the chance to have their face off and be the Frontline, as the BOOM GANG would steal the opportunity from them. As they approached their destiny to face The Fallen, they were attacked from behind and left for dead at the feet of murderers. Other Hoodslammers came to make the save, but Drugz Bunny would not retreat, and so his fate was met.

Chupacabra and Juice Lee would have a bit of a falling out, but both would be involved in the final conflict with The Fallen.

This would not last, as the two would soon rekindle the fire that separates. An intense match up between the two was interrupted by an unrelated to the Fallen invader. He had seen all the losses Hoodslam had felt, and assumed the Oakland group weak – ripe for conquering.

Chupacabra and Juice Lee would combine forces to fight back the 7foot monster. In a surprising statement, the invader realized that Hoodslam was still strong, and showed respect. In this moment, as the invader looked Chupacabra in the eye with an extended hand, Juice Lee would snap his neck. Hoodslam was safe, the crowd was happy, but Chupacabra was shocked and repulsed.

Drugz Bunny, Juice Lee, El Chupacabra and Okami

Da SQUAAAD

Perhaps the most consistent stable at Hoodslam EVER, Da Squaaad continues to carry on a commitment to a fuck you attitude. Hop Daddy, Kenny K and D-Rogue had a slight internal spat over the inclusion of Alpha Zo, but after proving himself to the Hop Daddy, Zo became a full fledged member.

Somewhat mysteriously, Shakira Spears European tour seems to go on without end. We thought she’d be back by now… has anybody seen her?

Da Squaaad would play no part in the climactic finale with The Fallen.

Da Squaaad would find inspiration from She/Her who stole the Golden GiG from Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer PONG’s corpse – they soon attacked GLAMpion Brittany Wonder and absconded with her GLAMpionship. Eventually, the Hop Daddy would defeat her with the help of Squaaadmates Kenny K and Zo, and officially become GLAMpion.

They’ve continued trying to amass Championships, now turning towards the Intergalactic Tag Team Titles. They’ve been team Champions more than anyone, and at FTF they’ve been given an opportunity to further separate themselves from the rest in the history pages. At FTF, The Lost Treasures battle Da Squaaad … AND the EMO Heads.

This last ripple turned into a wave, as the EMO Heads immediately sighted, attacked and injured Alpha Zo, leaving his status at FTF as questionable/doubtful.

Hop Daddy, Kenny K and Alpha Zo

The following performers are thus far unaligned // Choose to remain independent

The Fallen

The Fallen have yet to declare anything besides being imprisoned for 10’000 years and a want for revenge, therefore an authentic biography is impossible. However, the following research has been compiled and provided as the current theory into the origins of our bloodthirsty invaders

10’000 years ago angels descended to Earth in hopes to teach man of language, science, math, metal works and magic. However, they also found love. God became angry, and banished all the angels to a limbo dimension until the end of time – when all things including sinners would return to God.

The Fallen would mostly perish or go mad, losing identity and self. She, also known as Her, is the last to maintain her sense of self and sanity. Her shadowy consort is rumored to be the human she fell in love with that initially raised God’s ire. He would join her and the other angels as the Earth was covered in flood.

She would soon realize that another of her ilk was similarly punished, though this time for NOT loving humans enough. It was in this moment that she realized that her God was not infallible, and she swore revenge.

Almost 10’000 years later, man would split the atom. In this crucifixion of matter, a bridge was opened between our reality and Her prison. Some of the remaining angels would attempt to cross, but the voyage left no survivors. However, the increasing atomic activity slowly opened the gap.

In 2012, Doc Atrocity would achieve interdimensional travel by accident when trying to invent time travel. He and others would travel many times, unknowingly carrying with them remnants of Fallen Angels. Whenever a living being traveled through dimensions, they carried back with them a fallen angel distorted in mind and body by the psyche of the host they followed.

Doc Atrocity called Nurse Ratchet

Bat Manuel drew forth Hollywood Cereal Man

DARK Sheik and FunnyBone were both presumed dead and to have had nothing to attach to.

Anton Voorhees returned without a demon, but an ever replenishing symbol upon his face.

Sweet Boone retrieved the demon version of his dog Lil BJ

When Doc Atrocity built the sentient atomic bomb that would choose to detonate itself (don’t worry about it), the tear in reality became big enough for She and her shadowy consort to join the rest of The Fallen. Emerging in a world unseen by the sleeping eyes of God, she has fixated on the relic known as the Golden GiG, our highest championship.

Using it to murder many of our roster, the kill count currently stands at:

PONG, Glorious Banana, Bat Manuel, Sweet Boone, Drugz Bunny, Lil Crush, Anton’s Knee

However, Hoodslam struck it blows back: The EMO HEADS kidnapped demon BJ, and Brutal Rob Hands avenged his friend Sweet Boone by unloading Boone’s gun into the demon dog. Juice Lee would rip the head off of Hollwood Cereal Man in the twilight of war with The Fallen. The Shadowy Consort would surrender for his team in what appeared to be an attempt to spare the life of SHE after she fell to the Hoodslammers.